Scribbles
by Lunatic.Ninja
Summary: VINCENT VALENTINE SMELLS LIKE MOTHBALLS." "Cloud chews his hair in his sleep..." The heroes of Final Fantasy 7 write about 7 days of their daily lives. Yuffie's idea, of course. It's just everyday. How crazy can it be?
1. Yuffie Day 1

Scribbles

Yuffie's Week

* * *

**January 1st 4:30pm**

**Yuffie Kisaragi here! In your hands you're privileged to read a week in my ultra-fabulous life! But that's not all you'll read! I came up with the brilliant idea of, DUN DA DA DA! Getting a journal and passing it around to all my friends! Teeffs, Spiky, Vince, and all the rest of our gang!**

**Yeah, awesome, right? Traveling alone has been fun, but the even the greatest ninja ever (ME) get's lonely now and then, right? Right. So here it is! **

**MY BEST WEEK EVER**

**Day 1**

**January 2****nd**

**7:47 a.m.**

**Walking through the fields on my way to Kalm. Teeffs said she's done this before a few years ago, and it only took a couple hours of walking from Midgar to there. Well, I started off further from Kalm than Midgar is, but how long should it take? I mean, they walked. I'll run!**

**8:17 a.m.**

**Okay, running was a bad idea. While I'm resting, I may as well make a few calls.**

**8:20 a.m.**

**Tried calling Tifa but she was busy at her bar. So I called Cid.**

"**Hey, Cid? Yuffie here. How's it going?" I said, perfectly innocent-like.**

"**Yuffie? I told ya, I'm on vacation!" He screamed into the phone, obviously forgetting that MY EAR WAS ON IT.**

"**Vacation? Whaddya on vacation for? You don't work!"**

"**Whaddya want from me, woman!?" **

"**Well I called to tell you about a super-important project I'm working on, but you had to be your idiot self!" I yelled just before hanging up the phone.**

**I got the last laugh.**

**But I don't feel like laughing.**

**I'm so mad, I feel like running again!**

**8:43 a.m.**

**Bad idea. (Again. ) Break time. I'll just rest a while.**

**3:27 p.m.**

**I FELL ASLEEP. I NEED TO RUN. FASTER THAN CLOUD RUNS WHEN HE KNOWNS TIFA IS MAD.**

**3:58 p.m.**

**I am not just **_**tired**_**. **

**I am not just **_**exhausted**_**.**

**I just ran miles without stopping. **

**I am tired and exhausted combined.**

**I am **_**EXHAUSTIRED.**_

**EXHAUSTIRED: When you are so tired and/or exhausted that you gain the ability to make up words.**

**I should start my own dictionary after I finish this. The Gil would pour in!**

**4:24 p.m.**

**Finally in Kalm! I think Vince is here still. I'll give him a call.**

**4:27 p.m.**

**Called Vince. He told me in his big-bad-wolf voice: "Yuffie. I'm busy right now. Only call me if you need to." And then he hung up. What's with people not saying 'bye' anymore on phones? Well, he isn't as much of an idiot as Cid is.**

**A few days ago, when I told Cid that I was going to Kalm on my own, he asked me if I needed a ride!**

**I'd sooner take the bus out of his butt and ride **_**that**_** to Kalm than hitch a ride with him!**

**5:24 p.m.**

**I'm looking for a place to stay here. I didn't think it would be this hard. I guess it'd be easier if I wasn't so **_**exhaustired.**_** I'm gonna start using that word as often as possible. It'd be good publicity for "Yuffielinian". (My new language. Screw dictionaries!)**

**6:15 p.m.**

**Sitting outside a bar I found. It opens in forty-five minutes, but I don't have anything better to do in the meantime so... Here I am.**

**The moment it opens, I'm buying myself food, getting a room to stay in, and passing out (hopefully) on the bed. Maybe if I don't pass out right away I'll make a few more calls, write in this, watch TV, etc. **

**Hm, nah. I'll fall asleep a.s.a.p. no matter how bored I feel. **

**9:32 p.m.**

**Got big a dinner, a magazine and a cozy room! Sleepy-time, she comes!**

**9:34 p.m.**

**Omigosh! This gossip mag says Rufus Shinra got hitched! But to who? It says…**

"**On January 1****st**** Rufus Shinra of Shinra Power Company married a mysterious blond woman (identity unknown)."**

**Then there's a picture of him walking down the street holding the hand of some broad with her face covered by a really ugly gigantic hat.**

**This is HUGE. I have to call Vince!**

**9:36 p.m.**

"**Yuffie, quite frankly, I don't care." He said. Duh! I need to call someone who actually shows **_**interest**_** in things that they're interested in. (He's lying! I know he cares!)**

**9:38 p.m.**

**Called Tifa. **

"**Yuffie, you know those gossip magazines aren't always true." She said.**

"**You're just pissed because it's probably that Scarlet chick he married." I said, remembering the story of their little 'catfight'.**

"**I don't care who that woman marries!"**

"**You give her too much credit, calling her a woman! A dumb broad, that's what she is!"**

"**Yuffie, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye."**

**At least she said **_**bye.**_

**10:15 p.m.**

**Called Cloud.**

"**Cloud, I'm bored! Talk to me!" I said. **

"……………" 

"**Cloud, its Yuffie! Talk!" I yelled.**

"……**..-Click-"**

**HE HUNG UP ON ME. CHILVALRY IS DEAD.**

* * *

**A/N**

_**Every chapter I submit will be 1 entry in the "journal". This is so much fun to write, I already have several chapters written in advance. I will probably have a new chapter up everyday. **_

_**That is, if I get at least 3 reviews per chapter. That shouldn't be hard, right?**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**P.S. For more information on this story check my profile.**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	2. Yuffie Day 2

**Day 2**

**January 3rd 8:23 a.m.**

**Blocked my phone number and called Vince. Disguised my voice. **

"**Vincent Valentine?" I asked, all mysterious-like.**

"…………" **He didn't say anything at first.**

"…………" **I was tempted to yell, but I stayed quiet and mysterious-like.**

"**Yes." He finally answered. "What do you want?"**

"**Meet me at the fountain in the square at noon." My acting is only getting better.**

"**Hmph." He said. I assume that means 'yes' in the Vinnie language. I didn't say anything else after that, just hung up. But I know now that he IS in Kalm! **

**Ninja time, baby!**

**12:00 (A.K.A. Noon)**

**Vincent isn't here yet. I'm hiding behind a crate at the moment, being very careful to be quiet. A bird pooped on my shoulder, and I didn't even flinch! I never cease to amaze myself.**

**12:04 p.m.**

**Vince isn't here yet. Dangit, it's freezing out here! And it's starting to snow! If Vinnie doesn't get here soon, I'm outta here!**

**12:10 p.m.**

**He finally showed up. I think I'll leave him waiting now.**

**Revenge is sweet.**

**12:11 p.m.**

**Never mind, it's too cold out for revenge.**

**4:23 p.m.**

**Hotel fee at the bar: 200 Gil a night**

**A sandwich and an Elixir: 150 Gil**

**The look on Vince's face when I did a running-tackle on him: PRICELESS.**

**8:34 p.m. **

**So, after the running-tackle, I spent the WHOLE DAY WITH VINCENT. I KNEW he missed me! HA.**

**He was so happy when he saw me, he turned red and had to leave for five minutes to 'control himself', he said. **

**I told him all about this journal, and he said he would "humor me" and write in it when he has the time! Hear that? He wants to make me laugh!**

**Then we walked around Kalm, we fought and destroyed a few baddies now and then, saved a few grannies from getting mugged, blah blah blah, etc. etc. **

**After that he took me to the bar that I'm staying at and he came inside. Turns out, we're staying at the same bar! I just didn't see him because he hit the hay waaaaay after I did, and got up waaaaay early. **

**I guess once you've slept for like, 30 years it starts to be pretty lame.**

**I think I'll surprise him and stop by his room!**

**10:17 p.m.**

**I surprised out of his wits!**

**Random thought, but I noticed that he's been wearing the same exact outfit since the first time I met him. He doesn't smell as bad as you would expect someone doing that would smell.**

**Weird.**

**Well, I guess I'll hit the hay. I feel a little sick. I sipped some of Vince's wine when he wasn't looking. Ugh. **

**If I puke, it's Vince's fault for not keeping an eye on me!**

**11:22 p.m.**

**Can't sleep. Something Vince said back in his room has been bothering me.**

"**I've been thinking…" He said after I stopped jumping on his bed. "Now that I am free of my demons, I figure that it is much easier for me to perish." He stood up, walked across the room and looked out the window. "I don't know what else to do with my life. Now that I have avenged Lucrecia, I have found myself feeling empty." He looked at me, like he was expecting me to say something, but how could you say something after hearing something as sad as that?**

"**There was a light to my feet, a dark past behind me, pushing me towards the future. Now I find myself with nothing. I can't dwell in the past, but I see no future. I-"**

"**Okay Vince! You made your point! You're depressed! Big deal! Everyone's life is hard! Get over yourself and get a hobby! Oh, Jenova!" And then I left without saying anything else.**

**And then I cried outside his door.**

**I think he was trying to tell me that I should help make him happy. That he wants _me _to be a light to his feet, to show him the way!**

**I won't leave his side!**

**A/N**

_**Chapter 3 will be posted tomorrow, probably. Thanks for reading! Please review!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	3. Yuffie Day 3

**Day 3**

**January 4th**

**9:02 a.m.**

**MISSION TIME. **

**Mission 1: V.A.M.P.I.R.E. SMILE (Very Awesome Mission Perfect I Really Expect)**

**I need to make Vincent smile seven times today! The first move I'll make is kicking down his door and giving him candy and flowers. (I've seen it done in movies.)**

**9:34 a.m.**

**Didn't go as planned. Kicked a hole right through his door. My leg got stuck so Vince had to help me out by making the hole bigger with a lamp post. **

**10:17 a.m.**

**Vince and me got kicked out of the building and were told to never come back.**

**People these days! No decency!**

**12:24 p.m.**

**First move didn't turn out well, (Didn't even crack a smile! I thought it was sort of funny in a klutzy, cute sort of way.) so my second move is telling jokes. Knock-knock jokes, 'Why did the chicken cross the road' jokes, dirty jokes, stupid jokes, limericks, clever jokes, sad jokes, weird jokes, etc. I have an arsenal of jokes!**

**Vince, YOU WILL LAUGH.**

**12:46 p.m.**

"**Knock-knock." I said to Vince.**

"…**What?" He asked. **

"**Knock-knock." I repeated.**

"…………**.." He looked confused.**

"**Don't tell me you have never heard a knock-knock joke before. They've been around since like… The stone ages! You know, when you were a kid."**

"**Ah, funny." **

"**Funny? No, nothing I said was funny! You can't say 'funny' until I get to the punch line. _EVERYTHING_ that's funny has a punch line."**

**Then he nodded his head and, when I looked real close, he was…**

_**SMIRKING!!**_

**Six smiles left to go! Man, I'm good!**

**1:07 p.m.**

**Now that I think about it, maybe he wasn't smirking. It's hard to tell when he has that red-cloak-thing covering his mouth constantly.**

**I figure that if I can make him laugh at least once, that's equal to seven smiles.**

**Okay, Yuffie, make with the funny! **

**3:54 p.m.**

**Tried doing something crazy, to make Vince laugh. I jumped and splashed in the fountain here, yelling "Here's to lookin' at you, kid!" (Quote from a movie).**

**Keep in mind that it's winter, which means that the air is cold, and because the air is cold the water is cold, which makes fountains cold, which, all in all, makes me cold.**

**I AM FREEZING.**

**Ugh. The things I do for friends.**

**4:18 p.m.**

**Feeling a bit better. Vince gave me his red-cloak thing to wear to warm up. I've never seen him without it. Why is he always hiding under it? I know plenty of guys that look half as good as that, and they're pretty fine!**

**4:27 p.m.**

**Cloak smells like mothballs. **

**Does Vince smell like mothballs, too?**

**5:28 p.m.**

**In Kalm still. Vincent just went inside an inn, checking for vacancy.**

**In the meantime, I'm running out of ideas to make Vince laugh. I didn't think it would be this hard! When it comes to crankiness, he's almost as much of a grouch as Cid is! That says _a lot._**

**I know I'll think of something! I just know it!**

**5:29 p.m.**

**The mothball smell is starting to make me sick. Feeling kinda dizzy.**

**But it's FREEZING without it, so I'll put up with it. **

**6:16 p.m.**

**VINCENT VALENTINE SMELLS LIKE MOTHBALLS.**

**I was extremely curious, so I 'accidentally' tripped and fell on him, and got whiff of his MOTHBALL SCENT.**

**Guess why?**

"**Vince, why do ya smell like mothballs?" I asked him. Then he reached into one of his pockets (didn't think he had any) and pulled out, none other than:**

**Mothballs.**

"**To keep the moths away," he said plainly. "They've been eating up my cloak. Reeve suggested that I purchase them."**

**I wasn't sure whether or not it would be rude to laugh, but I laughed anyway.**

"**Vince! That's not what you're supposed to do with them!"**

"…………**.."**

"**Forget it, let's go." I said. I'm not on a mission to embarrass him. Maybe I will be on a mission to do that one of these days, but not today.**

**I still have to make him laugh. Or just make him happy.**

**7:24 p.m.**

**None of the Inns would take us in tonight, so we're camping just outside of town. All of them were either full, or they heard of what happened in the bar earlier today.**

**News travels fast.**

**8:23 p.m.**

**Vincent didn't laugh yet. I tried a few more jokes to lighten up the mood, but he didn't get them.**

**Could he have no sense of humor?**

**8:30 p.m.**

**I know what I can do! In the light of the campfire, I noticed that Vincent's cape has dirt stains/blood stains/mysterious unknown-substance stains. Tifa gave me a bottle of cleaning stuff, I can get the stains out for him! He's looking the other way, doing something (reading I think), so I'll surprise him.**

**8:40 p.m.**

**It's working!**

**8:49 p.m.**

**The places I put the stuff on turned pink. Pink. Vince's cape is covered in pink blotches.**

**Tifa gave me bleach.**

**I failed my mission to make Vincent happy. Day 1 of being Vincent's light has been a failure. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.**

**11:32 p.m.**

**Or not! Vince saw the cape, and laughed HYSTERICALLY. He was quiet at first, but then he stood up, walked a few feet away from me, and started chuckling. Then the chuckling turned into full-fledged, hysterical laughter.**

**He just, faced the night sky and laughed, almost like he was laughing at the world.**

**Today was good. **

_**A/N**_

_**This is a little longer than the others, but I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading! (Reviews appreciated!)**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	4. Yuffie Day 4

**Day 4**

**January 5****th**

**9:37 a.m.**

**Day 2 of being Vincent's "light to his feet."**

**Mission 2: Tailor Made**

**Taking Vince's cloak to the Tailor's to see if they can get rid of the pink blotches. At the moment it is really, and truly, HIDEOUS. Uglier than Cid's butt!**

**Horrendous story! Last month I walked in on Cid in the bathroom. EWWWW! His butt is so pale! And it's HUGE. Blech! **

**Not the fondest of memories.**

**11:06 a.m.**

**Do you know how hard it is to find a Tailor Shop in this town? I've been through this town and over and over and NOTHING! I might have to fix this myself!**

**11:08 a.m.**

**I'll keep looking. I have a feeling in my gut that if I try to fix this it will turn into some random color.**

**11:25 a.m.**

**That gives me an idea. What if I tie-dyed the pink parts? That would be pretty cool. He already has long hair and works for the WRO, all he needs is flowers in his hair and he'll be a total hippie!**

**Hippies rock!**

**12:17 p.m.**

**Really considering tie-dying the pink spots. Maybe even the whole thing!**

**12:45 p.m.**

**On second thought, I don't think he likes bright colors. They might burn his eyes out, like sun light to vampires!**

**Scary thought…**

**Tie-dying is officially out of the question.**

**3:07 p.m.**

**I only have a few hours left to find a Tailor Shop. Vincent's in a meeting somewhere here in Kalm. He didn't tell me what it was about. Could he have become a spy since Reeve convinced/forced him into the WRO? I can see it now:**

"**What it your name, dark stranger?" A chick would ask him sexily after he saves her from a kidnapping or whatever happens in spy-movies.**

"**Valentine," He would say suavely, holding a wine-filled glass in his hand that he carried around with him casually (like in spy-movies.) "Vincent Valentine."**

**I'd pay tons if Gil to see that movie! Maybe I should become Vincent's personal agent and get him into tons of awesome movie roles. I'm a genius!**

**4:14 p.m.**

"**Seventh Heaven: The Cloaked Stranger and the Single White Rose of Wutai."**

**That would be my movie if I became a movie director. **

"**Breathtaking."**

"**Mesmerizing."**

"**Best. Movie. EVER," The critics would say. I'm writing down the plot on a napkin I found on the ground in the café I'm sitting in at the moment. I must look like one of those fancy-pants screenplay writers that I always see in café's. **

**Sweet.**

**4:38 p.m.**

**I met a woman in here that can fix the cloak! SCORE! She said she'd do it for free! No strings attached!**

**5:24 p.m.**

**Found out the catch. I have to go in a date with the woman's son. Yay. Blind date. I'm so excited. **

**NOT.**

**6:00 p.m.**

**I'm here at the café on time. He's late. Good first impression, Kalil. (The guy's name, by the way.)**

**6:17 p.m.**

**I can see a man coming in through the door. He looks like a jerk. His shirt's unbuttoned, revealing his toned, hairy chest and his pants and tighter on his butt than Vincent's leather outfit.**

**And that says a **_**lot.**_

**Please, please, please tell me that's not him!**

**7:16 p.m.**

**It was him. I've been hiding in this bathroom stall for twenty minutes trying to get a break from Kalil. He's a moron! This is how our conversation went!**

"**Are you… Kalil?" I asked hesitantly when he approached me.**

"**Yep. You must be the cutie my mother was telling me about." He said, sounding like a DOOFUS. I felt like screaming "I'm not dating you by CHOICE, jerkface! Your mother set me up! I was used! Scammed! Tricked! GET OUTTA MY FACE!" But I thought of Vincent and **_**selflessly**_** controlled myself.**

"**Hehe, yeah, I'm Yuffie."**

"**So what do you like to do?"**

"**Well," I said proudly. (Not as proud as he sounded!) "I'm a famous materia-hunter from Wutai. I'm an excellent fighter, and I'm not afraid of anything. I-"**

"**Whoa whoa whoa, girl! Hold it! I didn't ask for your life story! Women talk **_**so**_** much." The jerkface said. After a long, pause (from me, he was talking but I wasn't paying the least bit of attention) I ditched him and came in here.**

**Ugh. The things I do for friends. Vincent, you better thank me for this!**

**8:44 p.m.**

**Blind date is over! I got the cloak back! I'm on my way back to the campsite! And Kalil is no where in sight!**

**9:39 p.m.**

**Back at our cozy little campsite. Vincent thanked me for the cloak and he SMILED! Mission 2 was a success!**

**By the way, on my way out I ran into Kalil again and he asked me how I old I was, and when I told him I was twenty he said "Good. Just making sure you're old enough for what I have planned for you."**

**And I swiftly kicked him in the groin.**

**Life is good.**

_**A/N**_

_**Chapter five/Yuffie's fifth entry will be added tomorrow. **_

_**By the way, "Seventh Heaven: The Cloaked Stranger and the Single White Rose of Wutai" is an actual fan fiction I'm working on. I'll add information on my profile if you're interested. **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	5. Yuffie Day 5

**Day 5**

**January 6th**

**8:19 a.m.**

**My growling stomach has inspired me!**

**Mission 3: P.I.C.N.I.C. (I'll think of what the letters stand for later.)**

**I'll arrange a picnic for us to have together today! Seriously, who doesn't like picnics? That will totally boost Vinnie's happy points!**

**I'll cook at all by myself! I can buy some fish, bread, etc. And I've seen Tifa cook over campfires before. It was insanely good! I'm surprised Cloud isn't fat yet with her awesome food!**

**Ah, chubby Cloud. I can see it now.**

**9:21 a.m.**

**Bought a gigantic fish. It was really cheap, too. The fish salesmen said that parts of it are poisonous, but I know how to avoid those.**

**Aren't the poison parts a funny color or something?**

**10:29 a.m.**

**Called Tifa.**

"**How do you know what parts of a fish are poisonous?" I asked.**

"…………"

"**Tifa?"**

"………"

"**Why are you so quiet, Teefs?"**

"…**..….."**

"**CLOUD!! NO!!"**

"**-click-"**

"**CLOUD! I HATE YOU! I WILL MURDER YOU!!" I screamed at the dial tone that followed.**

**One of these days he'll call me when he's in dire need of me and I'll hang up on him without saying a word!**

**If we die of food poisoning, I'll write "Cloud Strife did this to us!" in my own blood and/or vomit! (Like in movies. Minus the vomit part…)**

**11:14 a.m.**

**Brought the fish back to the salesman. I decided that risking your life just to taste a mediocre piece of fish just isn't worth it.**

**11:30 a.m.**

**I just realized that I've planned all of this and I didn't even invite Vincent yet.**

**11:34 a.m.**

**He already ate lunch so he's not hungry. Darn it! Maybe if I hit him in the stomach hard enough he'll puke and then he'll eat with me!**

**Nah, too nasty. **

**I'll reschedule the picnic for 6:00 p.m. Then he should be reeeaaalllly hungry.**

**12:49 p.m.**

**Random thought: I wonder if Vince can sing? His voice is very cool. He could probably pull off hard rock or something.**

**2:10 p.m.**

**Just drew a picture in the back of this journal of Vince wearing black-and-white face paint with a nose ring and a leather outfit and screaming into a microphone.**

**He should consider becoming a rock star. That would be so cool! Then he'd have even more Vin-Girls! **

**2:36 p.m.**

**That's what the band should be called: Vin-Girls! (See Yuffielinian Dictionary.) **

**3:21 p.m.**

**Called Tifa.**

"**Where were you?" I demanded.**

"**Excuse me?"**

"**Cloud answered your phone and hung up on me! I needed to ask you something."**

"**Sorry, I was working. What was it you wanted to ask me?"**

"**I wanted to ask you how to tell poisonous fish parts apart from poisonous ones. But Vincent ate the poisonous ones and died a horrible, horrible death."**

"**What!?" She shrieked.**

"**Just kidding! Gosh, you're gullible!"**

"**Yuffie, that's not funny. I have to go, I'm with a customer. I'll call you later. Bye."**

**It just occurred to me that I do all the calling. My phone hasn't rang in AGES. Maybe if I stop calling everybody they'll eventually call me? Nah, It's my responsibility to keep everyone together. I'm like a glue. A _friendship_ glue.**

**4:06 p.m.**

**I am extremely _Boredungry._**

**_Boredungry:_ When you are hungry and bored at the same time.**

**So far my language has six words:**

**_Exhaustired: _When you are so exhausted/tired that you gain the ability to make up words.**

**_Vincetastic:_ Something that is incredibly Vincent Valentine-like.**

**_Vin-Girls: _Fan girls of Vincent Valentine**

**_Boredungry:_ When you are hungry and bored at the same time.**

**_Ell-Oh-Ess-Eee-Arr: _L-O-S-E-R. Like Cloud. **

**_Boobzilla:_ "Gifted in the bust", "Well endowed", etc. Like Tifa.**

**More on the way. By the end of the year, I'll have my own personal vocabulary. Sweet!**

**5:07 p.m.**

**About an hour till we eat. I mixed all of my ingredients together, put them in a pan and stuck them inside the campfire.**

**Smells good already!**

**5:24 p.m.**

**It came out as a molten unidentifiable object that smells sort of like road kill and chocolate.**

**Please excuse me while I bury this and go throw up.**

**5:45 p.m.**

**Buried the molten-unidentifiable-smells-like-road-kill-and-chocolate thing, threw up and ran to Kalm to buy two dinners.**

**I ditched the containers that they came in and put them in separate pots and pans so he'd think that I made them.**

**Nothing wrong with a little white lie, right?**

**6:32 p.m.**

**So we're finished eating and we're having a bit of an awkward silence. I have never had a moment in my life of awkward silence. **

**It's painful.**

**6:45 p.m.**

**Woo-hoo! Something weird just happened!**

**A naked man just ran through the fields here with a herd of Kalm police after him. He was screaming "Stop cutting the trees of our planet! They return to the lifestream too soon! Stop cutting the trees of our planet! They return to the planet too soon! Stop-!"**

**Yeah, you get the idea. He's still running. He's fast…**

**6:47 p.m.**

**Why is he naked?**

**6:50 p.m.**

**OH MY SWEET JENOVA. **

**IT'S KALIL.**

**SHOOT HIM! TAZER HIM! SOMETHING! RUN FASTER, KALM POLICE!**

**9:34 p.m.**

**I am officially a hero of Kalm.**

**I joined in the chase and caught him! Threw some stringed-kunai that wrapped around his ankles, he tripped and hit the ground face-first, getting a mouthful of dirt and an earful of**

"**REMEMBER ME, JERFACE!?"**

**And I did it all on a full-stomach! (I ate WAY too much!)**

**Now both of us are Kalm heroes!**

"**Vincent Valentine and Yuffie Kisaragi join forces to protect Kalm from the forces of evil, creating the unstoppable duo of:**

**YUFFIETINE."**

**I like the sound of that!**

_**Yuffietine:**_** The unstoppable duo of Yuffie Kisaragi and Vincent Valentine!**

**Word seven of Yuffielinian!**

**_A/N_**

**_I don't like this chapter as much as the others, but here it is. I hope you like it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!_**


	6. Yuffie Day 6

**Day 6**

**January 7****th**

**9:09 a.m.**

**Tomorrow is my last day writing in this journal. I love this thing! I'm gonna miss it! I'll occupy myself with other things, though. Like more missions to help out Vince, rescuing people, etc.**

**I don't know who I'll give it to next. Vince has been extremely busy lately, I don't think he'll have the time to write right now.**

**Cid's on vacation with his wife, I don't know where Barret is (And I don't care much), Tifa's in Edge at her bar, Red XIII can't write, Reeve never has the time to do anything, Cloud is an Ell-Oh-Ess-Eee-Arr, and Aerith is very much dead. (Though in a way, she is very much alive and kickin'. Hard to explain.)**

**I'll figure something out. In the meantime, **

**Mission 4: Makeover**

**Vincent's due for a makeover. His hair is tangled like a rat's nest (have you seen one of those before? It's BAD.) and he still smells like mothballs. Probably just his hair will get cut. And washed. And I'll make him take a bath… I don't think he's bathed in a few years.**

**Wish me luck!**

**12:34 p.m.**

**A GIGANTIC HIDEOUS DRAGON CAME OUT OF FLIPPIN' NO WHERE AND ATTACKED KALM.**

**Correction: It **_**IS**_** ATTACKING KALM.**

**Vincent and I made a plan for us to wait for the monster on the rooftops in the apparent direction it's going and strike is at the same time. I got my shruiken in hand, and I'm completely prepared.**

**The beast is getting closer.**

**I can smell it's breath! (Smells oddly like potato skins…)**

**3:48 p.m.**

**Taking that monster down was easy!**

**When it came by I jumped off of the roof and threw my shruiken, and it caught it in the eye! (It practically 'sploded!) Then Vincent jumped onto it's snout and fired away with his Cerberus gun!**

**Watch out, evil beasts from across the lands!**

**Yuffietine is on patrol!**

**Looks like Vince won't get a haircut after all. It's alright, though. His hair is more Vincetastic than anything else on him.**

**Why would you get rid of your trademark? Maybe the dragon coming was some sort of sign to say:**

"**Don't touch Vinnie's hair! It will throw off the planet's natural order of things!"**

**Yeah. That explains the dragon.**

**4:12 p.m.**

**On second thought, no it doesn't. There weren't any dragons anywhere the last time I checked. Dragons are a big deal here! Where did it come from? Could it have been hiding somewhere? The ocean, maybe?**

**Hm. It must be good at hiding…**

**6:49 p.m.**

**More monsters came. Lots and lots of Sahajins n' Gargoyles n' monsters I've never seen before in my life! We fought them for hours, but they're all gone. Poofed. Destroyed. CREAMED BY YUFFIETINE.**

**The more I say "Yuffietine" the cooler it sounds! I've never been like a super-hero before, (Aside from saving the world from Sephiroth, helping Vince stop the Tsviets last year, etc.) but that's how it feels right now. Fighting evil. Maybe I should start wearing a cape like Vince? A matching red one…**

**Vincetastic!**

**7:35 p.m.**

**Told Vincent about the super-hero idea. He said that he was too tired to talk about anything like that but he said he would later.**

**Too late, though. Our duo-name is spreading throughout Kalm. People are already starting to use it. (I heard them! People were cheering for us when we were fighting the Gargoyles and the other flying creatures up on the rooftops!) **

**Mwahahahahahahahaha!**

**Evil laughter is definitely the best form of laughter.**

**10:24 p.m.**

**Vincent is fast asleep. As soon as we got back to our campsite he pretty much passed out cold. I don't think I've ever seen him look so beat.**

**More monsters got into Kalm. I have no idea how they've been getting in so easily. Weird, huh?**

**I'm too excited to sleep. I haven't fought like today in a while.**

**I think I'll call around.**

**10:29 p.m.**

**Called Tifa.**

"**Tifa! Guess what happened today!'**

"**Dozens of monsters attacked?"**

"**Yeah! Wait, huh? How'd you know?"**

"**Same thing happened here. Cloud passed out on the couch when we made it back home. I'm staying up with the kids until 11 o' clock. They're way too excited from today's action to sleep."**

"**I'm excited too!"**

"**Why am I not surprised?"**

"**So, has our name spread to Edge yet?"**

"**What?"**

"**You know, Yuffietine."**

"**Nope. Haven't heard of it. What is it?"**

"**You'll know, Tifa," I said, nodding my head (Although I knew she couldn't see it) "You'll know."**

**Then we talked a little more but it was just normal chit-chat so I won't write it down.**

**This monster thing is pretty weird. I guess I'll sleep on it.**

_**A/N**_

_**One more Yuffie entry left. Thanks for reading!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	7. Yuffie Day 7

**Day 7**

**January 8****th**

**9:03 a.m.**

**My last day with this journal. Something awesome better happen today, so I can end my story with a BANG.**

**I still have absolutely NO IDEA who'll I'll give this to. Maybe I could give it to Vincent. He probably won't be able to write in it as often as I do, but writing a little is better than not writing at all, right?**

**Ugh. But it' so boring! If today is exciting, than the boring entries of everyone else won't matter, so today has to ROCK.**

**10:05 a.m.**

**I finally know who I'm giving this to. Tifa.**

**I have to write quietly, and breath quietly at the moment because on the other side of this crate I'm sitting in is Cloud. I can see through a small hole in the crate that he's holding a box with a large, poorly-made sticker marked "Strife Delivery Service". He's making a delivery here in Kalm! How convenient is that? I just have to walk up to him, hand this over and he'll take it to Tifa.**

**Simple.**

**11:06 a.m.**

**OKAY, CLOUD MUST BE MENTALLY RETARDED.**

**I HAVE BEEN CHASING CLOUD AROUND KALM FOR **_**AN HOUR**_**.**

**He saw me and RAN. He just, took off! I didn't have time to even say anything to him!**

**He always seems so cool, calm and dignified, like anything could happen and he would just stand there, but Cloud Strife, **_**THE **_**Cloud Strife RAN AWAY. If I could just get him still for a second, I could explain to him about this journal and end this wild Cloud chase!**

_**Wild Cloud Chase:**_** STUPIDER AND MORE INSANE THAN A WILD GOOSE CHASE.**

**Word eight of Yuffielinian.**

**11:09 a.m.**

**That's it! I'll call him! He can't run from that!**

**11:13 a.m.**

**Called Cloud.**

"**Cloud, stop running from me! I only want to-!"**

"**-click-"**

**Oh, IT'S ON NOW. IT'S ON.**

**11:30 a.m.**

**Called Tifa.**

"**Tifa! Tell your little boy-toy to stop running away from me!"**

"**Running? Why is he running?"**

"**I'm chasing him!"**

"**He's running because you're chasing him?"**

"**No, I'm chasing him because he's running!"**

"**Well, I'll try. I can't make any promises."**

**11:45 a.m.**

**Called Tifa again.**

"**Tifa, I lost him. Did you call him?"**

"**Yeah, he stopped running."**

"**Hey, thanks!" I said happily, thinking that I could finally end this Wild Cloud Chase.**

"**Now he's hiding."**

"**WHAT!?" I yelled.**

"**Yeah…" She said quietly.**

"**Where is he hiding!?"**

"**Promised I wouldn't say." She said, cheerfully. **

**Then I hung up. They're obviously teamed up against me.**

**I'll find him without Tifa's help!**

**1:23 p.m.**

**Cloud Sightings so far today: 2**

**Vincent Sightings so far today: 0**

**Maybe I should start looking for Vince. Cloud can't hide from Yuffietine!**

**2:05 p.m.**

**Requested backup.**

"**Yuffie. I can't talk. I'm busy."**

**One moment he's complaining that he doesn't have a life, the next he's so busy he can't do anything! Ugh!**

**2:34 p.m.**

**Called Vince again.**

"**Look, I know you're busy, but have you seen Cloud here?"**

"**Yes, he just left a few moments ago. I was busy talking with him when you called."**

"**That's why I was calling, jerk face! I'm trying to catch him but he's running from me!" Then I sighed very dramatic-ish and said "Forget it, I have to go."**

**I don't need Vincent's help, either. I have a plan.**

**4:06 p.m.**

**Searching for Cloud's bike. Maybe I could do something to it that only I could undo so that he can't leave? Hm…**

**5:06 p.m.**

**Slashed two tires on Cloud's bike. Now I guess I'll just wait for him to come back here.**

**5:15 p.m.**

**Am I taking this too seriously?**

**5:30 p.m.**

**Nah, I don't think so. Cloud shouldn't have took off.**

**5:38 p.m.**

**Bored. Where the heck is Cloud?**

**5:46 p.m.**

**Boredungry. But I won't leave! I don't care how much my stomach growls! I'll ruff it out!**

**6:05 p.m.**

**Called Cloud.**

"**Cloud, where are you? I've been sitting at your bike for an hour and you're no where in sight!"**

"…………**."**

"**You were stupid to park your bike on the east side. It was just **_**too easy**_** to get to, so I trashed it, now you can't leave!" Then, I heard him **_**snicker.**_** Ugh. He disgusts me.**

"**I parked my bike on the west side of town. I'm on my way to it now."**

"**Are you telling me I-!?"**

"**-click-"**

**This isn't Cloud's bike. I just damaged a random stranger's property.**

**Oh, Cloud. I cannot even explain how mad at you I am right now.**

**6:17 p.m.**

**Left a bag of Gil on the seat of the bike so hopefully I won't get sued.**

_**Angrissed.**_

_**Angrissed:**_** Angry and PO'd at the same time. How I feel about Cloud at the moment.**

**Word nine of Yuffielinian.**

**So I figure he's about half way to his bike by now. I can still catch him if I take the alleyways that I'm 70 sure Cloud has no idea about. I can also take the rooftops, sewers (gross), etc.**

**Cloud, you're **_**so**_** going DOWN.**

**7:34 p.m.**

**Cloud went into a building so I can rest a second. I caught up with him in no time! He hasn't seen me yet. I would go to his bike and wait for him, but I can't risk it. I would be much for than Angrissed if I got the wrong bike again.**

**7:42 p.m.**

**Taking a while to come back out. Is he still inside?**

**7:45 p.m.**

**I'm going around the building to see if there's a back door.**

**8:15 p.m.**

**I am currently sitting on top of an unconscious Cloud Strife.**

**Here's what happened:**

**Cloud did, in fact, see me and went inside of that building and went out through the back door of it.**

**When I jumped onto the building to check for the back door, I spotted Cloud and screamed at him "TRYING TO TRICK ME, SPIKY!?"**

**Then he began running, so I began running and jumping rooftop to rooftop until I eventually, when he was just about 10 feet away from his bike, jumped on him and knocked him unconscious.**

**I checked his head and he doesn't have any concussions or anything, and he's breathing so I know he isn't dead. Whenever he wakes up I'll explain to him about this journal and I'll make sure he takes it.**

**8:26 p.m.**

**Cloud's still unconscious. Maybe he's faking it? If he isn't maybe I should consider taking him to a hospital.**

**Never mind, he just mumbled**

"**Yuffie… Off."**

**He's fine.**

**8:40 p.m.**

**Cloud started his bike and he's about to leave to take this to Tifa.**

**But I'll miss this! I just have to look forward to getting it back. The next time I lay my hands on it, I'll read about Tifa's adventures, Cloud's, Cid's and everyone else's!**

**I have to part with you now, journal, but I promise I'll come back for you!**

**-Yuffie Kisaragi**

**The Great Ninja, Vincent's Light, The Conqueror of Evil, The Single White Rose of Wutai and part of the amazing duo Yuffietine.**


	8. Tifa Day 1

Scribbles

Tifa's Week

**Note From Yuffie: Okay, Teefs! My baby's in your hands now! I decided to leave you with some rules and instructions.**

**1. Write in this. A LOT. PUT SOME BACK INTO IT, WOMAN! Er, ink. You know what I mean!**

**2. Leave out boring details. (Like what Cloud was doing when something happened, how the air felt, how you felt, what you thought about it, etc.)**

**3. Don't leave this journal near food or drink. (If I find any stains in this, you're paying for it! 100g per stain! No discounts just because I like ya!)**

**4. PROTECT THIS WITH YOUR LIFE. (Or at least Cloud's life.)**

**5. Don't write about Cloud too much! (See rule #2)**

January 9th

I guess I'll do what Yuffie did and introduce myself. (For no apparent reason.)

Tifa Lockhart speaking. (Er, Writing.) Cloud came home late tonight (late, even for Cloud) and collapsed onto the couch.

When I asked him what happened, he simply said "Yuffie. Yuffie happened."

Ah, Yuffie. Don't change.

So that's how I got this. It sounds fun, can't wait to make my first entry bright and early tomorrow morning!

* * *

Day 1

January 10th

5:06 a.m.

Today's is Sunday, which means none of us work, because it's "Flower Day." A few months ago, we all decided as a "new-years resolution" that we would have some kind of quality-time based schedule.

Sunday: "Flower Day" – We go to Aerith's church as a family to tend to the flowers there.

Monday: "Monster Hunting" - The three of us drive around to keep the monster-population to a minimum. (At least around here.) Yuffie and Vincent help us on the extra-crazy days.

Tuesday: A normal work day. (With Happy-hour at 7 o' clock.)

Wednesday: "Party of Three Day" - Barret, Cloud and I go to a restaurant together. I don't know how much longer this will last. It's mostly arguing and eating. (Have you ever tried eating while listening to "YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE, SPIKY!?" Not the most relaxing surroundings.)

Thursday: Another normal work day for all of us. Did I mention that Barret has a job now, too? He get's a new one constantly. I think now he's a mine worker…?

Friday: "Cloud and Tifa's day" - (We'll think of a better name later.) Cloud and I go out to do something. Not like a date-thing, but a two-childhood-friends-spending-time-together sort of thing. I think.

Saturday: "Kid's Choice" - Marlene and Denzel decide what we do all day. Yesterday it was a pizza parlor. Five hours of pizza flying through the air and children screaming. I'm surprised Cloud didn't have a nervous breakdown. (Maybe watching little kids climb on Barret shouting "Look Mommy! It's a bear!" calmed him down.)

After I'm ready, I need to round up the kids (and Cloud) and make them get dressed to go. Some people don't know this, but Cloud isn't even the slightest of a morning person. I've been considering getting one of those air-horns to get him up. Nah, I guess I'll stick to dragging him out of bed by his feet until he hits the floor and wakes up. 

That's easy enough.

7:42 a.m.

Kids are up, and Barret should be back soon so we can go. Cloud is taking an ice-cold shower trying to wake up. He got home so late because of being knocked unconscious by Yuffie…

7:44 a.m.

Was Yuffie telling the truth when she said she took him to a hospital?

7:56 a.m.

I gave Yuffie a call.

"Yuffie, did you take Cloud to a hospital last night?"

"I already told you!"

"So, you didn't?"

"Yeah! Er, no! I mean um… I'm confused. What did you ask me again?"

"Did Cloud go straight home after you knocked him out?"

"Yup. I made sure of it!"

Okay, so we'll take a brief detour to a hospital before we go to the church. No big deal.

8:44 a.m.

In the waiting room at the hospital. Actually, the emergency room. Cloud passed out on the way here.

I hope he's okay…

He should be. He's survived battles with Sephiroth, falling through roofs of churches, getting shot, stabbed, motorcycle crashes, bad hair days, etc.

9:33 a.m.

He had a mild concussion and he'll recover soon. We're on our way to the church in the Shadow Fox-look-alike-car that Reeve gave to us a few months ago. It doesn't look family friendly, but it's practical for all of us. (If it's a car that can hold Cloud's motorcycle and Barret at the same time, that's our car.)

11:22 a.m.

At the church. Even through the winter these flowers stay strong. The pool of water is still in here, but flowers began growing all around it. It's quite stunning, actually.

People with Geostigma still come in here to be cured every now and then. A few times they've jumped into the water, catching Cloud off guard when he's relaxing in one of the chairs. He's scared away several people by shouting (without even opening his eyes) "Get the f--k out of my pool!"

I'm surprised Aerith doesn't return from the Promised Land briefly just to smack him upside his head.

12:34 p.m.

Barret and Cloud got into a fight. The result? Cloud got a mouthful of dirt when Barret shoved his "Pretty little spiky head" into a pile of loose dirt.

Sometimes it feels like I live with four kids instead of two.

1:22 p.m.

Yuffie called.

"Hey Teefs. How's it goin'?" She said in a sing-song tone.

"Fine. How are you?"

"Good. So… have you watched the news yet today?"

"The news? No, we're at the church."

"Oh, yeah. 'Flower Day.' Forgot. Sooo…. Uh… No news today?"

"Nope."

"Will you watch it tonight?"

"Sure thing. Why?"

"Oh, you'll know Tifa. You'll know."

And then she hung up on me without saying anything else. 

I guess we're watching the news tonight.

7:07 p.m.

So, we were watching the news when we saw two familiar faces. Here's the report:

"Reporting live from Kalm, this is Tina B. interviewing our two very own heroes in our fair city, the well-known Vincent Valentine and Yuffie Kisaragi, now apparently referred to as 'Yuffietine.'"

Right on the screen, to our amazement, was an ecstatic Yuffie and a bored Vincent.

"This amazing duo has single-handedly defeated a large group of viscous, blood thirsty guard hounds and their ringleader, a large crimson-colored dragon. So, are you two planning on staying here in Kalm?"

"You bet!" Yuffie shouted into the microphone she snatched out of the woman's hand. "We're here to stay and protect this city from all evil! Monsters, villains, robbers and dark knights! Shadowy armies from across the lands! Fear us, for you will fall to the hands of the almighty Yuffietine!" (Can she get any more dramatic than that?)

"Vincent Valentine, you've saved the residents of Kalm on numerous occasions, saving dozens of lives last year during the raid of Deepground. Any comments?" The reporter asked Vincent, (obviously expecting him to answer). 

He stared at the microphone. "I did what I had to do." He answered after a long, long silence.

"And we're all thankful. Again, this is Tina B. reporting live from Kalm. Back to you, Phoenix."

Well, now I know why Yuffie wanted us to watch the news so badly. Cloud just left home to "get some air" (He said. I think he's trying to grasp what he just saw on TV.)

9:06 p.m.

Cloud's not back yet. He should come back soon… If he get's to sleep late he won't be able to patrol Midgar and Edge with us. Barret and I could handle it, (obviously), but it would take much longer without us being able to split up… 

Cloud, I'll drag you out of bed tomorrow if you can't get up!

10:02 p.m.

Denzel tried to wait for Cloud with me, but he fell asleep ages ago. (Have you ever tried to carry a twelve-year-old boy up three flights of stairs and up to his bedroom? Awkward to carry…)

10:34 p.m.

"Cloud, where are you?" I asked him when I called his phone.

"…Wha? Who's this?" An unfamiliar voice said. Light, but I don't think it was a woman. (A woman better not have his phone…)

"This is Tifa Lockhart… Cloud? Where's Cloud?"

"Cloud who?" (How could he not know who he is?)

"Cloud Strife? You have his phone."

"Wha he lookin' like?" The person slurred, but I think he asked me what he looked like.

"Spiky blond hair."

"Spiky!" He shouted. "Spiky! Ah yeah, Spiky! Spiky left to go to sleep. Says his head hurt."

"Where are you? Forget it, who are you?"

"You don't know me, baby?" He (I hope it was a he) said, apparently trying to sound sexy with his high-pitched drunken-voice. "I'm the best man you'll ever know, baby cakes!" (Baby cakes? Ew.) Then he hung up Cloud's phone.

Great. Cloud went to a bar. He can't handle alcohol at all. The last time he went to a bar (other than mine) he went out like a light. (Have you ever tried to carry a twenty-four year-old-man up four flights of stairs up to his bedroom? I swear my back still hurts…)

1:24 a.m.

Can't sleep. Can't move. Cloud came home (completely drunk) and fell asleep on me, and I'm too tired to carry him upstairs like last time…

Well, at least the couch is comfortable.

2:12 a.m.

Last thing I'll write tonight:

He's chewing on his hair…

………

Cloud Strife chews his hair in his sleep.

_**A/N**_

_**This is a lot longer than Yuffie's entries… Is it too long?**_

_**Anyway, there's Tifa's Week Day 1. Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	9. Tifa Day 2

Day 2

January 11th

8:49 a.m.

Woke up late and Cloud's still on me. He moved from my shoulder to my lap. On the plus side I'm using his head like a table to hold my coffee Marlene made for me.

The downside? He's beginning to drool.

9:07 a.m.

The drool was starting to really gross me out so I stuffed a napkin in his mouth.

He didn't even flinch. Hm. Tough sleeper.

9:10 a.m.

Should I wait for Barret to come back to crash through and wake him up? I know he would…

9:16 a.m.

"Cloud, are you still asleep?" I asked him quietly.

"Yeah." He said with his eyes closed (and through the napkin).

I'm about to kick him off of me. 

9:26 a.m.

"Cloud, I have to get up." I said quietly. (Starting to feel like a hostage...)

"You don't have to shout, Tifa, I'm right here." He said, his eyes still closed tightly and the napkin still in his mouth. (To someone who didn't know him as well as I do, it probably would have sounded like "Mmph hmm mmph, Tiff, aymm hmm." Also known as "Cottonspeak, word 26 of Yuffielinian." That's right, I'm keeping track of it.)

"I'm not shouting, I-" I began to say, until I realized that he was having an intense hangover.

Unfortunately one of the few things Cure materia can't heal is headaches. That and stomach aches, nausea, and PMS. There are several other things too, but those are the ones that are the most annoying.

Time to fetch the aspirin. He should take more than usual now that Barret's back with us... (Not a nice person to be around if you're looking for peace and quiet.)

9:52 a.m.

Barret's back and we're getting ready to leave. (Monday - Monster Hunting.) Cloud currently has his head stuffed under a pillow cushion. (Cloud's head, not Barret's.)

10:14 a.m.

Calling for a replacement for Cloud. Barret and I could handle it alone, but it would take much longer to reach our quota.

10:20 a.m.

Called Vincent, and he was busy.

Called Cid, and he's on vacation.

Called Reeve, and he was so busy he couldn't answer.

Asked Red XIII and he said that he hates battling with Guard Hounds. (Our main foe around here.)

Guess who's left?

Yuffie's coming with us. This'll be fun. (For the most part.)

12:33 p.m.

Monsters Exterminated: (So far) 52 (41 Guard Hounds, 1 Cactuar and 10 Crimson Hounds.)

Today's quota is 150. It's normally 100, but with the random monster attacks on the towns we're taking out more.

Why has there been so many lately? Maybe they changed their mating season from fall to all year long bow-chika-wow-wow?

12:39 p.m.

Did I really just write "bow-chika-wow-wow"? Maybe I've been talking to Yuffie just a little bit too much...

1:15 p.m.

This is bad. We crashed into a mountain. How? Good question. I have no idea. I was helping Yuffie get Cactuar needles out of her shoes, (Barret's driving, not me, by the way) when suddenly –CRASH- . Broken glass everywhere. At least it didn't explode or something.

1:40 p.m.

Nevermind, it exploded. I forgot that we drive an arsenal. (Guns, bombs, etc. are inside of it.)

We spoke to Reeve about the car, and he told us that there were two bombs that we didn't know of that we forgot to deactivate. Super. That's just great. Glad he told us just in time, before something terrible happened. (Sarcasm if you didn't notice.)

Looks like we're walking home.

3:19 p.m.

Halfway to Edge. Yuffie's staying the night at our place and Vincent will pick her up in the morning. (Sometimes it seems like Yuffie is his daughter or something. Thankfully she isn't. That would be creepy, considering her crush on him…)

Monsters Exterminated: (So far) 113

We're only fighting the ones that get in our way since we can't drive in circles to find them.

I don't think we'll make the quota this way.

5:33 p.m.

Monsters Exterminated: 518

We were attacked by a stampede. Cactuars.

A stampede of Cactuars. Needles everywhere. 

The battles were completely insane. One after another for an hour and a half. Yuffie got so pissed at one point she bit one in half. She _bit_ it. _BIT. SHE BIT A CACTUAR._

She won't be able to talk for two weeks. Poor girl… Talking is one of her favorite things to do. Next to materia hunting, cheering up Vincent and making up words for "Yuffielinian". (She's up to 29 words now, by the way. She made up "Cact-tard" and "Barripped" while she was with us.

_**Cact-tard: Stupid Cactuars! A nickname for the twerps. **_

_**Barripped: When you're huge and strong, like Barret! HUGE. HUGE I SAY!**_

_**I MISS YOU JOURNAL! I'LL COME BACK TO MAKE FULL ENTRIES SOON!**_

_**-Yuffie, the Super Ninja**_

Honestly, if she makes a dictionary with those words, I'm buying it. They'd be fun to use every now and then. Especially to see people's faces when they say "What the heck did you just say?"

5:57 p.m.

Just curious, so I called Cloud again.

"Yeah, we're still walking home. We're all so _exhaustired_."

"… What?"

"We're exhaustired."

"What did you just say?

"Exhaustired."

"What's that?"

"Yuffie's word."

"Yuffie's?"

"Yep."

"Yuffie's word?"

"Yep."

"-click-"

Not as fun as I thought it would be.

6:30 p.m.

Finally back home. Yuffie's sleeping in Cloud's bed and Cloud get's the couch.

I know what you're thinking: "Aw, poor Cloud!"

He laughed like a lunatic when he heard Yuffie try to talk. Yuffie ran into the bathroom and started to cry. She hardly ever cries, since she's so upbeat, so it was a big deal.

So before anyone thinks "Aw, poor Cloud!" think about Yuffie's poor temporary muted-voice.

7:13 p.m.

"How is Yuffie?" Vincent asked when he called us. (Awww… He's worried.)

"She's alright. She gets Cloud's bed tonight."

"And where is Cloud?"

"On the couch."

"Ah," he said, chuckling a bit. "Goodnight, Tifa."

Awww.

7:22 p.m.

Told Yuffie that Vincent called.

-insert Yuffie's happy squeal here-

(It was the only sound she could make.)

8:20 p.m.

Forgot to write that Cloud's headache went away.

And then it came back after we were home for five minutes. (It turns out that Yuffie is even louder when she can't speak. She's squealing and yelling "BLAAAHHH! BLEEEEEHHH!!" To get on Cloud's nerves. It would annoy me as well, but I'm wearing my lovely earplugs I got for my birthday. Thank you, Reeve! He got them for a joke but I use them constantly.)

10:07 p.m.

Ouch. Bad hair day for Cloud.

Yuffie jumped onto his back with a pair of scissors in her hands and…

You know what happened. I locked Yuffie in my room (With her dinner and some drinks. And my bedroom has a restroom so she'll be alright) so she'll stop trying to fight with Cloud.

In the meantime, Cloud has locked himself in his restroom desperately finding a way to fix his hair. (Which was basically butchered. The left side of his hair is shorter than the right side, it even has a bald spot…)

Now you can say "Aw, poor Cloud!"

He has his room back, and I'm sleeping on the couch. I don't want to be around Yuffie at the moment, even if the couch is a literal pain in the neck…

12:03 a.m.

This is the most uncomfortable thing out there. Couches are meant for sitting and lounging, and sometimes for jumping on, they shouldn't be slept on. Now to try my list of sleep-inducers.

1.Warm milk

2.Read

3.Watch TV

4.Write (in this)

5.Go out for a walk

6.Give up and sleep on the floor

1:44 a.m.

In Cloud's bed. No, he's not in with me. (No bad thoughts! Shame on you!) He's on the floor next to the bed. (He knows "the pain of the horrendous couch", he said, and he said that I could sleep in his bed if I made pancakes tomorrow morning and help fix his hair.)

Goodnight, journal. (finally)

2:04 a.m.

One more quick entry.

He's chewing his hair again! I should take a picture this time...

* * *

_**A/N**_

_**Whoa, this took a long time to finish!**_

_**Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	10. Tifa Day 3

Day 3

January 12th

6:00 a.m.

Ordinary day expected today. (As normal as it can be at this place…) Kids go to school, Barret's off to search for more energy resources, Cloud has deliveries to make, Yuffie is planning on leaving around noon, and I'm just working in our home-slash-bar.

6:32 a.m.

I would have forgotten the pancakes if it weren't for this note on the fridge door.

_Tifa-_

_Went to the corner store to buy maple syrup._

_We're out of it, and everyone knows you can't have pancakes without syrup._

_It's unheard of._

_-Cloud_

_P.S. Borrowed Denzel's grey beanie. If he runs out of his room panicked, tell him a robber came and stole it._

_Tell me his reaction later._

Nice, Cloud. Real nice.

7:17 a.m.

Pancakes cooked and eaten, Cloud's hair fixed and the kids are off to school. Yuffie just cut a few spikes off. I made it look (somewhat) decent by pasting some blond hair from one of Marlene's old dolls. If you look real close, it's obvious that it's fake but from a distance it looks fine, so until his hair grows back he'll be alright.

Poor Cloud. His spiky hair is one of the things he's most proud of. Plus, his hair is naturally spiky. (At least now it is. A few years ago he used some hair cement when his hair was at it's longest.)

Well, it's almost time to open the bar. I'll write during slow hours.

9:11 a.m.

Bored. So bored. My bar in the slums always had something going on. (Mostly fights.) This new Seventh Heaven is more of a family-type place during the day, which is good because better people are here, but it's just a little boring. I wipe counters, wait for customers, serve customers, wipe counters, wipe counters while serving customers, etc.

At night, though, especially during Happy Hour (Tuesdays at 7 o' clock), I'm constantly throwing people out (literally) and serving customer after customer.

It is very _Coolstuffz._

_**Coolstuffz: **_**Something Awesome, cool, or SWEET. The cool type of sweet, not "Awww! So sweet!"**

**Word 29 of Yuffielinian.**

(Yuffie used it this morning. She nearly started crying when I told her I was keeping track. She was _Blegmeggeled, _word 24 of Yuffielinian, which basically means 'Speechless'.)

Well, off to a boring day.

10:12 a.m.

A talking frog came in a few minutes ago and ordered a Maiden's Kiss. Her name was Flynn. You think that after seeing everyone get turned into frogs constantly by Frog Song would help me get used to it, but it's still so… creepy when you're minding your own business and suddenly a green thing appears out of no where, and when you're expecting it to say "Ribbit" it says "Hey you! Maiden's Kiss, A.S.A.P!"

I guess it's not as creepy as the "Mini" materia.

The thought of people shrinking themselves and sneaking into your homes through cracked windows, going into your room and…

I once found a mini man hiding in my underwear drawer. Cloud put him into a hamster cage until he agreed to quit the "Mini" effect. He continued to use the materia for three days until he finally ran out of MP.

Thankfully, few people can properly use that sort of materia, so we don't have to worry much.

I still can't help but feel a bit creeped out though… When I see a frog I sometimes talk to it to see if it's really a person. Sometimes people think that I'm a little crazy because of that.

12:09 p.m.

On my lunch break. The best part about being your own boss is picking your breaks. My very first real job, (working as a waitress in a bar called "Lively Tavern" when I was 17. The name of the place is now "Honeybee Inn". I'm very happy I quit when I did.) my boss was a complete moron. No breaks, no tips, no smacking perverted guys if they say anything out of line to you, nothing.

My second "real" job was a house cleaning service, my third "real" job was babysitting, and my fourth "real" job is my current job as my own boss/Bartender/Foster Mother/Chef. In between my jobs I did lots of miscellaneous work to support myself, like photography, being a bodyguard, etc. When I first opened Seventh Heaven in the slums, I never expected it to become this popular, and I certainly didn't expect that I would love working here this much.

Well, enough about work. Writing about work during a break isn't very relaxing.

12:39 p.m.

I didn't realize it, but a lot of the things I did at my past jobs, I still do at home. I'm still a waitress (pretty much), I'm constantly cleaning our home-slash-bar, I still baby-sit (Well, I hardly call living with Marlene and Denzel babysitting, but, yeah, sort of), Cloud and I protect people that need protection while traveling from here to Kalm, and all of the pictures that I take are hung up on several walls in our home-slash-bar.

Hm. I guess the jobs weren't in vain after all.

2:34 p.m.

About five hours till Happy Hour. Maybe I'll be able to use that new move I've been working on if it get's bad…

At the moment, it's a perfect family atmosphere. Some teenagers are here with their grandmother for her 68th birthday, a woman and her toddler are drinking chocolate milk together at the bar (which is a milk-bar until 5 o' clock when I start to serve alcohol) and some newly weds are having a nice late lunch. (I know that they're newly weds because they haven't been able to get their hands off of each other long enough to take a bite of their salads.)

Yuffie is still here. When I asked her when she was planning on leaving, she said "Nuuuuuuuuuh! Thinthent canth hear meh talk lack thith!" Which I think meant "Nooooooooo! Vincent can't hear me talk like this!" She'll be staying with us for a while, then. Too bad none of us knew that Cact-tards have numbing needles inside their bodies to protect them from predators… Then again, no one thought they needed to know because people don't usually bite Cactuars.

4:05 p.m.

The same man has been coming here every day at 4 o' clock for the past five weeks, and he stays for hours. Tired eyes, spiky brown hair, and piercings all over his ears… He never talks. Ever. Not even when he orders. He just grunts and points at what he wants on the menu.

Hm… Should I be worried about this guy?

5:16 p.m.

Cloud made it back from the delivery a few minutes ago. It was for the Chocobo farm. He had to deliver 10 bales of Mimett greens. Cloud's bike can only hold 2 bales at a time, so he had to drive back and forth between the farm and Kalm, which took hours.

Yuffie is dancing around him singing "Ah nuh ah song tha wuh geh on yuh nuhvs, geh on yuh nuhvs, geh on yuh nuhvs!" over and over again to, none other than, get on his nerves.

6:13 p.m.

Poor Cloud. Yuffie's still singing. (She has incredible lung capacity…) Cloud can't do much to stop her. He seems to be trying to tune her out while looking at customers helplessly.

6:28 p.m.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse for Cloud, Yuffie discovered that she had some needles stuck in her tongue, and she-believe it or not-_licked _Cloud's face. The left side of his face is frozen. Completely numb. He can't smile, frown, or talk.

All while listening to "Ah nuh ah song thaw uh geh on yuh nuhvs, geh on yuh nuhvs, geh on yuh nuhvs!"

He gets extra pancakes tomorrow.

6:57 p.m.

Almost to Happy Hour…

7:00 p.m.

And so Happy Hour begins. The "Slash" door is locked, the Happy Hour sign is on the door, and Cloud is on standby (he's not numb anymore) in case I need assistance. (Like if I'm too busy to break up a fight.)

By the way, the "Slash" door is the door that separates the bar from our home. When it's open it just looks like a large doorframe, and when it's closed it just looks like another part of the wall. It's a safety thing so a drunk man won't wander around our house. (It's the "slash" in home-slash-bar. Get it?)

7:10 p.m.

So far, so good. There's about 40 people here, the most I've seen in a while.

7:15 p.m.

There's a line forming outside of the bar. It's already getting really crazy in here… I've already made twice as much gil as I normally make on a Happy-Hour-Less day. If I added another hour, how much gil would I make then?

7:22 p.m.

Bar Fights (So Far): 1

I'm expecting five to break out this time. Last Tuesday, there was only two, but there is a lot more people here today. (Probably around 50-55 if you count the ones outside.)

Is it bad that I'm almost hoping for fights to break out?

7:30 p.m.

Bar Fights: (So far) 3

A lot more women are here today. There's usually only two or three at a time at night, but there must be at least ten. I wonder why?

7:34 p.m.

They're chatting up Cloud. All of them started to hit on him in a pack, like animals. Cloud seems to be handling it well. He's in his "cocky" side.

Cloud has two main sides to his personality.

1. Real Cocky side (The side everyone sees.)

2. Somewhat dorky side (The side only Marlene and I see, except for some moments such as "Everyone, let's mosey!" and "Aw, you look like a teddy bear wearing a marshmallow!" He is a pretty smooth guy, but like everyone else, he has moments of dorkiness.)

I should stop writing in this until Happy Hour is over. The customers are getting a little _Angrissed._

12:33 a.m.

Bar Fights: 20 (technically.)

A riot broke out. Cloud, Yuffie and I fought away people for hours to get them under control.

Downside: I'm completely exhausted, my "perfect family atmosphere" could possibly be destroyed if word gets out that there was a riot, women might start coming here only for the chance to see Cloud, some of my favorite pictures were knocked off of the walls and broken, and while I was fighting I was groped by a man and I didn't get the chance to injure him properly.

Upside: We made thousands of Gil, and in spite of the downsides, it was pretty fun.

And one more thing that's not really a downside or an upside…

Yuffie fell asleep on me. I was lying down on the floor, talking about what happened today, and she just fell over. (She was sitting down next to me.)

I text messaged Cloud to come and carry her up to my room. He's in the house, but if I yell for him I'll wake Yuffie.

12:40 a.m.

Alright, Yuffie's in my bed, Cloud's on the floor, and I get his bed because I'm making extra pancakes tomorrow.

I got a Polaroid picture of him chewing on his hair.

And I'm framing it and hanging it in my room tomorrow. I'll look at it whenever I need a good laugh.

All in all, today was a good day.

12:49 a.m.

Last entry for today-I swear.

I found pictures under Cloud's pillow.

Pictures of all of us. Everyone. Zack and Aerith, too.

I wonder, does he miss everyone when they're all away? We're all pretty close, and even though he acts like they all get on his nerves (which they do), I know he doesn't hate them.

Awwww.

He loves us.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_**The longest chapter so far. Whew! The next chapter will be just a little bit shorter, probably.**_

_**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	11. Tifa Day 4

Day 4

January 13th

7:19 a.m.

Wednesday – "Party of Three" day

Tonight we're going to eat at an out-doors restaurant called "Gettin' Edgy 'n' Edge!"

"I don't trust places that skip the 'G' in their words," Cloud said when he first heard of it, "Like, 'Swimmin' and 'Jumpin'. If they can't take the time to use a 'G', they don't take the time to cook their food right." (I think he's just as nervous about going again as I am…)

I think this is going to be a rough night.

7:21 a.m.

I _know _this is going to be a rough night.

8:14 a.m.

Uh-oh. When we all started to eat the pancakes (after I made sure that Cloud had a bigger pile that Yuffie so he wouldn't think I was choosing sides, and so he wouldn't get his ego hurt), Yuffie said, with a mouthful of pancake and syrup: (As if it wasn't hard enough to understand her when she wasn't talking with a mouth full of food.)

"Wuh weh gug k'nite?"

"What?"

"Wuh-weh-gug-k'nite?" She repeated a little slower, as if it would be easier to understand her.

"Yuffie, swallow your food and ask me again." I told her. She chewed her food laboriously, swallowed hard, began to choke, lunged across the table for Cloud's glass of milk, drank all of it, turned a purplish color and said:

"Wuh ah weh go igg t'night?" ("Where are we going tonight?")

"Oh… Um… About that… It's called "Party of _Three" _day, Yuffie."

"Uh-huh? Ah knuh." (Yeah huh? I know.)

"And the three is… Barret, Cloud and I…"

"Yush… Whash yuh poink?" ("Yes… What's your point?")

"Um... That's it."

"Ah. Okah. Buh, lack ah was sahin, wuh weh go igg t'nite?" (Ah. Okay. But, like I was saying, where are we going tonight?")

I stepped on Cloud's foot under the table and whispered "Cloud, you tell her! _Nicely!"_

"Right… Nicely…" He mumbled. "Yuffie. You're not going. It's loud enough without you. You're staying here with the kids tonight." I shot him the angriest glare I could muster, and he added: "But… It's nothing personal. We already made these plans and it would be too hard to change them. Maybe some other time."

Go Cloud! He was (pretty much) nice to Yuffie! She seemed to take it pretty well.

"Yuh beh ahh tay meh necks tai! Or ah'll snack yuh intuh necks Tuhsdah!"("You better take me next time! Or I'll smack you into next Tuesday!")

9:32 a.m.

Alright. Barret took Marlene to school and Cloud took Denzel, (Some kids didn't believe that he knew Cloud or that Cloud ever let Denzel ride on his bike so… Yeah.) I'm picking up Red XIII from the vet today, (He's been there for the past week from a broken paw), and after I get off work (at noon), I have to think of a Plan B in case we get kicked out of the restaurant. I was thinking maybe a (somewhat) quiet walk in the park that's nearby…

Until then, off to work…

**10:02 a.m.**

**Mwahahahahaha! Yuffie here! While Tifa is busy working, I get to write in this! COOLSTUFFZ!**

**Okay. So far, there is about half of Tifa's journal that I want to scribble out.**

**You know, the half of it that's about Cloud, Cloud, Cloud, and, what's that? MORE CLOUD. UGH. Didn't she read my instructions? It clearly says "Don't write about Cloud too much!" And what does she do? She writes about Cloud too much! Geez, I'm glad I'm not **_**THAT**_** obvious about anybody.**

**If you scan through my entries, practically the only name that shows up more than once is "Jerkface". I barely wrote about Vincent or anybody. I guess I'm just independent when it comes to my entries.**

**Anyway, now for my situation. A few days ago while I was helping Teefs and Barret fight monsters, our car blew up, we were ambushed by Cactuars, I bit one Cactard in half, my tongue got numb, so now I sound like a moron when I talk, and I can't leave here to help Vince out because hearing the way I have to talk would make him feel sorry for me and he would fall into a deep depression to see me in such a pitiful state and he might eventually find some way to blame himself for my numb-tongue and he would lock himself in a coffin for 30 years and eventually be awoken by some new pokey-headed moron for some new epic adventure and he would save the world and a year later he would find out that it really wasn't his fault that I bit a Cactard and by then I would be an old normal-tongued hag with dozens of little brats and I would be married to some random gorgeous celebrity.**

**To stop that from happening, for Vincent's sake, I will stay with Tifa and Cloud.**

**Even if it kills me.**

**Or Cloud.**

**10:30 a.m.**

**Lesse… Tifa is standing at the bar.**

**10:40 a.m.**

**Now she's wiping counters...**

**10:44 a.m.**

**Ooo! Getting interesting! A hot customer just walked in and is talking to Teefs!**

**BAG 'EM, TEEFS! **

**10:55 a.m.**

**He's writing something down on a napkin.**

**Oooo, could it be a phone number?**

**10:56 a.m.**

**Maybe not. Tifa slapped him clear across the face. I was hoping she'd find someone else to swoon over! **

**Crammit!**

_**Crammit:**_**A cross between the 'd' word and 'crap'. Safer for children than 'crap' and the 'd' word.**

**11:04 a.m.**

**Now she's wiping counters…**

**11:15 a.m.**

**Talking to two people that just walked in...**

**11:22 a.m.**

**Blah blah blah blah blah blah.**

**11:30 a.m.**

**Well. Watching Tifa is getting boring.**

**11:40 a.m.**

**GUESS WHAT SHE'S DOING NOW.**

**DON'T CHEAT BY READING ON.**

**JUST GUESS.**

………**.**

………**.**

………**.**

**SHE'S WIPING COUNTERS STILL.**

**  
ISN'T THAT EXCITING!?**

**-entry dipped in sarcasm-**

**11:53 a.m.**

**Well, Tifa's shift is almost over. Sigh, I guess I won't write in this again until everyone else is gone.**

**Well, goodbye, journal!**

**And, note to Tifa: REFRAIN FROM USING CLOUD'S NAME. Quite frankly, it's annoying! You're independent! Write about yourself! (Or me.)**

**11:58 a.m.**

**Almost forgot.**

**Note to Cloud: I got more pancakes than you! When you left, I got extra! Take THAT, Cloud's ego!**

12:11 p.m.

Well, obviously Yuffie got to this.

Do I really write about Cloud too much? I'm just writing about my life, and Cloud just so happens to be in my life…

Okay. Whatever. Less Cloud. More me. Easy enough.

Off to pick up Red XIII.

1:12 p.m.

Red XIII is all better. He has to wear a cast for a while, but it doesn't hurt him. (Although he says it itches him like mad…)

Now for planning Plan B…

3:09 p.m.

Plan B: We could go to the nearby Arcade. I heard they just got that snowboarding game, like the one at Gold Saucer.

Maybe Cloud could try to beat my record. (Ha! Like that will ever happen.)

Plan C: It's hard to get kicked out of an Arcade, but if we do we could buy some junk food and hang out at home.

Plan D: We could-

Kidding. Nothing bad can happen at home. Except maybe a fire… And if our house caught on fire the last thing we would do is leave and party.

At least, I hope that would be the last thing they would do. If they did leave to party if something like that happened, I would swiftly kick them in the groin.

Then they would become incapable to have babies.

4:30 p.m.

Denzel was treated like a king today.

When he showed up on the back of Cloud's bike, the kids flocked around him and got autographs from Cloud and Denzel.

We aren't quite celebrities, but we're pretty well-known heroes here.

Cid's famous for being the first astronaut (Though Cloud and I were passengers, I guess we don't really count.), Vincent's famous for personally rescuing people, Reeve is famous for starting the W.R.O., Yuffie is famous for several things, ("Yuffietine", being a Wutai princess, being one of the greatest ninjas, and somehow winding up on TV over and over again.), Red XIII for being part of a rare species, Aerith is famous for her beautiful flower business, being the last Ancient, her death at the hands of Sephiroth, and saving us all from Meteor with Holy; Barret is famous for discovering new energy resources and starting AVALANCHE, Cloud is famous for being our leader and for his unique hair and bike, and I'm famous for Seventh Heaven.

And, of course, we're all well-known for saving the world from Sephiroth. (We're called "The Heroes of the Jenova War". Pretty nice title, don't you think?)

5:25 p.m.

Alright, we're about to leave to go to 'Getting' Edgy 'n' Edge!'

I can't bring my journal on the outing. (Cloud's rule) and I have to wear a ring on my left ring finger so random men won't bother me. (Barret's rule)

I'll write about it later tonight. We don't usually stay out late, so that should work out fine.

Wish me luck!

**2:06 a.m.**

**Tifa and the others aren't back from their little trip yet.**

**Ah man, now I'm worried. I shouldn't worry about anything! Ugh!**

**2:12 a.m.**

**Called Vince.**

**"Thah messen!" I shouted.**

**"...what?"**

**"Teffa, Clawd and Bahhet!"**

**"Is this Yuffie?"**

**"Yush!"**

**"I'm nearby. I'll stop byin an hour."**

**"Thank yuh, Vishent!"**

**3:05 a.m.**

**Vincent and I are on our way to rescue them.**

**Sigh.**

**They're so immature!**

* * *

_**A/N**_

_**The next chapter will be up in a few days. Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you liked this chapter! I'll try to write new chapters more frequently. I've been on a bit of a writing slope… So much for a new chapter every day like I originally planned, huh?**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	12. Tifa Day 5

**Day 5 **

**January 14****th**

**9:09 a.m.**

**Tifa is waaaaay too tired to write right now, so until she wakes up, I'll write a bit in this.**

**Last night the three of them were jumped by a huge group of loonies. Ya know, the "Heroes of the Jenova War Fan Club" that had their convention last night outside of "Gettin' Edgy 'n' Edge!" or whatever it's called.**

**When they noticed them, Teefs 'n' Cloud 'n' Barret tried to get the heck out of there, but the fan club found them and started gettin' crazy with 'em and when they tried to leave, they started to chase 'em and they did for hours until Yuffietine came to their rescue.**

**So the three of 'em are exhausted so they're all sleepin' and I should stop writin' 'cuz I keep shortenin' my words and skippin' the g's all 'cuz I wrote "Getting' Edgy 'n' Edge!"**

**AAAAH.**

**MAKE IT STOP.**

**IT'S DRIVIN' ME CRAZY.**

12:08 p.m.

Whew. I haven't slept in this long since I was a teenager.

So, like Yuffie wrote, there was a convention around the restaurant that we didn't know about until we were already there.

We were eating our dinner peacefully, when we saw a woman dressed like Aerith walk by the window next to us. (Cloud started choking on a meatball when he saw her. Guess it surprised him…) Behind her was a little girl, also dressed like Aerith.

When we looked out the window, we saw hundreds of people, all dressed like either Cloud, Aerith, Yuffie, Barret, Vincent, Reeve, Cid, Me, or they had a dog they dressed up like Red XIII. (Ugh, I hope they don't think he's our pet. I hope Red XIII never sees that…)

When we tried to sneak out, we were spotted by a little boy dressed like Cloud. Before we could stop him, he ran over to the crowd, screaming "Cloud! Cloud Strife is here! It's really him!" (I guess Barret and I didn't matter much to him…)

Immediately half of the crowd darted over to us. (We were like deer in headlights. If we ran away, it would seriously damage our reputation as 'nice people', whether or not all of us are…)

They bombarded us with questions. So many questions… Worse than all of the reporters after Meteorfall.

A woman dressed as Aerith asked Cloud: "What was it like when you first met Aerith? Did your heart flutter? Did you fall in love right then, or was it sometime later? How hard was it when she died in front of your eyes? Did you cry? Did you want to cry?"

A woman dressed as me said to Cloud and I: "You live together now! Are you engaged? Aw, that's so wonderful! First you were little kids with crushes, and now you're adults that are madly in love! I have read your guy's story over and over, you know, the one published three years ago in the Midgar newspapers? It's on my wall! Oh, you are the physical embodiment of the word "Fate"! So, when's the wedding? Can I come? I am CloTi's biggest fan!"

A little boy said to Barret: "Whoa! You are so much bigger in person! Your gun is like… so much bigger too! Didja get a new one? It's so shiny! Does it ever get all sticky with blood 'n' stuff? Prolly not huh. You prolly blast 'em ALL away before it even get's the chance to get you dirty! Unlike _Cloud._ I bet that sucka STINKS!" (The boy even spoke like Barret…)

So, as you can imagine it began to get really creepy. (Some people even gave us some books they called "Fan Fictions": fictional stories they write about us but aren't meant to be like rumors, just fictional. Weird… A few of them are actually pretty good…)

So we started to politely explain that we had to get home, but they wouldn't listen to us, so we just started walking away. (Since the restaurant is close to our home we just walked there, so there wasn't a getaway car for us to get the heck out.) Soon the walking turned to slow jogging, and eventually the jogging turned to running when the fan club began to run like a herd of rabid Guard Hounds.

"Tifa! Sign my butt!"

"Cloud, Take your shirt off!"

"Barret, shoot me with your arm!"

Some of the rabids were faster than us. (Especially Barret. The whole time he was running he kept on ranting like he did when we took all of those stairs in the Shinra building. You know, "Marlene… Daddy wanted to see your face one more time…" When he started to really fall behind, he said "Don't tell Marlene… that I died this way…" as if the rabids would tear him apart. Well, they might try to tear off his clothes…)

We tried our best to avoid fighting, so we tried slowing them down by throwing things behind us like fruit, (We ran by and tipped over a fruit cart. Those are always conveniently around during chases.) random objects from Barret's pockets, (change, candy, a toothbrush, some bottle caps, some bullets, a small glass bottle, an egg roll he took from the restaurant, a small can of oil, and a small ball of lint. It was hard for Cloud and I to dig through his pockets while running…) and random useless materia we had with us. ("Luck Plus" and one of our Chocobo Lures.)

In Edge, there are several short cuts and small alleys to take, so once we got to a certain area we each took separate alleyways. A few of the less die-hard rabids gave up searching and turned back, but more than half kept looking for us.

Luckily, I've always been good at jumping, and watching Yuffie has helped me improve my climbing skills so traveling through the urban maze of Edge proved to be very easy.

I had a few close calls with the rabids, especially with a man that had three dogs dressed as Red XIII on leashes hunting us down like animals. (How nice.)

After half an hour of wandering around on my own, I was grabbed by someone dressed as Cloud, elbowed him in the stomach, and started to run from him when he said

"Tifa! Ow… It's! Ow… Me!" (Obviously from the real Cloud.)

"Oh um… Sorry!" I said to him. (He was leaning against a wall trying to breath.)

"Uhn… It's… Ow… Okay. How far… are we… from home?"

"Um… Pretty close… Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I'm lost."

"You? _You_ are lost? Don't you always have a map or-?"

"Well I'm not always running around, hiding from people that are obsessed me."

"Hm. I see your point. So, what are you planning on doing if we get home and they follow us there?"

"Uh… Well, maybe we could-?"

"THERE THEY ARE!" I was interrupted by a screaming, over-weight Vincent. "Can I please have Vincent's phone number?" he wheezed, "Please? PLEASE!?"

"Sorry, a kleptomaniac ninja stole his phone. Even if we did give it to you, it wouldn't matter!" I screamed when we started running again.

Right as we made it to an open space, the group caught up to us, and we found Barret, lying in the middle of the road, completely exhausted.

"I can't… run… any… more…" he said between breaths. "Just… too… tired… I… need…. to… I… need… to…"

"Game over, jerkfaces!" A girl dressed as Yuffie yelled. "Gimme the materia!" She yelled, doing her best impersonation of Yuffie. (Not a very good one.)

When I looked around, I found that we were surrounded. Unless we wanted to knock a few people out (which I wasn't going to let happen), the rabids were blocking every alleyway. It looked like we would have to fight to get home, but I got an idea.

"Cloud… What materia do you have?"

"I thought we weren't going to fight..?"

"We aren't. Which ones?"

"Um… A cure materia, fire materia, lighting materia, and uh… Chocobo Mog."

I picked up Barret (ouch), grabbed the materia (from Cloud's pocket), summoned it (It was hard to do holding Barret…) and when the Choco/Mog was running by (almost hitting Cloud) the three of us jumped on and rode it through the crowd of people.

Four blocks away we fell off in front of an abandoned, ten-story building. (It used to be a motel, but some Sahagin's made their home underneath it and at night they went upstairs and did their thing.) Cloud and I carried Barret up to the top of the building, hoping to rest until the people realized that it was 3 am and decided to go home, but it only took them 45 minutes to catch up with us. They followed the Moogle that fell off of the Chocobo when we jumped on. (Yeah… people aren't supposed to jump on it. Ever. I was very surprised that it worked.)

Cloud and I ran downstairs and locked the front door of the building, then we locked the door that led up to the roof and tried using Cure materia on Barret, but it only cured his scratches, not his fatigue.

After waiting there for a while on the roof of the building, beginning to fall asleep on Barret (who was already asleep), we heard a loud voice from the building beside us.

"Game over, jerkfaces!"

At first I thought, "Ugh, it's that girl again," but the next thing she said proved me wrong.

"Amongth imposhers ann ah shings farsh, shings poor ann troo, ahwaysh shahn throo!" ("Amongst imposters and all things farce, things pure and true always shine through!") She jumped up onto the ledge and looked down at the crowd. "Yooffeetahn ish here!" ("Yuffietine is here!")

Yuffie tried to scare the group away, but they just watched her in awe. Eventually she decided on distracting them with all of her Yuffie-ness while Vincent led us home.

That was the most exhausting night of my life. Just thinking about it makes me want to go back to bed.

10:09 p.m.

I got a cramp in my hand from too much writing so I couldn't write too much today. I'll make up for it tomorrow.

Today Cloud brought home a baby Chocobo.

It's name?

Cloud.

We have a Chocobo named Cloud Strife.

Why, you might ask?

1.Cloud's hair looks like Chocobo feathers. (Marlene's reason.)

2.It would cause hilarious confusion. (Denzel's reason.)

3.It's "an awesome name." (Cloud's reason.)

I don't think it will be _too _confusing…

11:11 p.m.

"Tifa, Cloud bit me!" Marlene screamed from her bedroom. It took me two minutes to realize that she was talking about the Chocobo, and not Cloud.

This new pet should make things interesting.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_**AAAHH! This took forever to write! I wanted to write more, but by the time I finished the description of "Party of Three Day" I just wanted to end it. So, the end is a little rushed… **_

_**Don't be surprised if I go back and make it longer…**_

_**Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!**_

_**-Lunatic**_


	13. Tifa Day 6

Day 6

January 15th

8:06 a.m.

Okay, I only have to work until 4 'o clock today. (Cloud and Tifa's day. We really need a new name for that. It's just not creative at all. Alcohol gets my creative juices flowing, maybe if I drank a beer or two I could think of a better name…) I have no idea what we're doing, where we're going, what we'll do there, and what to wear.

Besides all of that, I guess I'm prepared.

...

Sort of.

9:00 a.m.

No problems. Everything is running smoothly. Slow, but smooth.

9:05 a.m.

Like Reno.

9:32 a.m.

Oh no. Found a napkin under my bed that has writing all over it in Yuffie's handwriting. It looks like some sort of schedule. Cloud does not look happy about it…

**Tuesday: Free schedule. Planning on passing time by annoying Cloud.**

**Wednesday: Go to dinner with Teefs, Cloud and Barret. **

**Thursday: Free schedule**

**Friday: Sabotage Tifa and Cloud's little "date". Plans aren't specific. May use explosives.**

**Saturday: Take journal back from Teefs and give it to Vince. If he doesn't sign it, leftover explosives from Friday may be used.**

**Sunday: Get far, far away from Cloud and Vincent in case they are bothered by explosives.**

Obviously she hasn't forgiven Cloud for all of the hang ups and older-brother like teasing…At least our night would be exciting…? I mean, explosives can be pretty like fireworks if they're several feet away…

9:46 a.m.

Scratch that. She could ruin it for us. I don't know how she found out where we're going, but we should change our plans so she can't find us.

I won't let anything crazy happen today. Not anything.

12:03 p.m.

"Tifa! CLOUD PEED IN MY BEDROOM"! Marlene shrieked from her room during the busiest part of the day: Lunchtime. (The kids are home today. Someone set their school on fire. Again.) Once again it took me just a moment to realize that it was Chocobo-Cloud and not Person-Cloud.

And it took nearly 45 minutes to explain to my customers that Cloud is not a raging cross-dressing drunk that does his business in little kid's bedrooms.

I'm going to assume that the cross-dressing part came from Yuffie. She overheard Aerith and me laughing about it in an Inn when we thought Yuffie was asleep. Maybe I should have listened to Aerith when she (jokingly) suggested gagging Yuffie into secrecy…

1:06 p.m.

"Tifa, why did someone just ask me what my bra size was?" Cloud asked me as I was washing some dishes.

"…………" (I was thinking _Don't laugh, don't laugh, for the love of Gaia,__don't laugh…_)

"Tifa, did you tell anyone about… About… You know..."

"No!" I said in my high-pitched-trying-to-sound-like-I'm-not-lying-so-hard-that-my-voice-sqeaks-making-people-think-that-I-am-lying-even-though-I'm-not voice.

"Did Aerith…?"

"No…"

"But-!?"

"Yuffie did it." I blurted out, though I was trying hard to not get Yuffie in trouble. (Sort of.)

"Yuffie? But you said you didn't tell any-?"

"She overheard Aerith and me laughing about it…"

"You were… Laughing? I only did it to help…" He said sadly. (He looks like a lost puppy when he's sad… As if women need more reasons to want to take him home.)

"No, not laughing… Just… Talking about… How funny it was when you said that you would cut off Don Corneo's-"

"Oh… Okay… Um... Just don't answer any of Yuffie's phone calls for the next few years. Anyway, we're going to Gold Saucer where she can't find us."

"Okay." I said in response. (I didn't have much input…)

"Okay."

"..." (Like I wrote, I didn't have anything left to say.)

"Um… See you later."

Well, that was awkward.

2:13 p.m.

Chocobo-Cloud made a "mess" in the bar and a customer slipped and fell in it.

Ew… Hopefully a free round of drinks and a free lunch will take his mind off of it.

2:34 p.m.

Person-Cloud made a mess in the bar and the same customer slipped and fell in it.

Cloud tipped over a soda, and before Marlene could clean it up, the customer walked over it and slipped.

He gets free lunch for a week. (And Cloud had to give me the Gil a teenage boy gave him for Cloud's "totally rad awesomeness".)

3:01 p.m.

I'm seriously thinking about putting them both in cages. I could feed Chocobo-Cloud Mimett greens and Person-Cloud normal inexpensive greens.

3:10 p.m.

Maybe not. It would turn Cloud's pearly-whites green... Cloud with green teeth wouldn't be a pretty sight.

Although Yuffie would disagree.

3:16 p.m.

You know that you have too much time on your hands when you're plotting putting a family member into a cage with a Chocobo...

3:20 p.m.

A group of teenage boys just came in and ordered a round of Smoothies. Hopefully they'll leave pretty quickly so I can close early like I wanted to.

3:24 p.m.

The boys are staring at me…

3:26 p.m.

Getting annoying…

3:32 p.m.

Getting creepy…

3:45 p.m.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" One boy said to me. "_Seventh_ Heaven?" Another boy chimed in, apparently trying to sound clever.

"Sorry, but I-" I began to say.

"Beat it kiddies," Cloud interrupted me as he walked into the bar to grab something from the fridge. "She's not available." (Thankfully. I didn't know what to say to them.)

4:03 p.m.

Off work and getting ready for Gold Saucer. Cid's picking us up in his airship at 5 'o clock sharp. (He stressed that if we weren't ready by then he'd pick us up to drop us into the Northern Crater... Not my idea of fun.)

4:33 p.m.

Ugh... Lost my shoes. They could be anywhere. The last time I lost something I found it in the freezer, and the time before that when I lost a set of keys, I found it in Red XIII's mane. (I don't know how they got there. He said he didn't do it...)

4:49 p.m.

This is new. I'm ready before Cloud is. Where is he? I'm really, _really_ not in the mood to be dropped into a crater today.

(Normally when someone threatens something dramatic as that, they're joking, but Cid doesn't joke. The last time he gave us a ride anywhere, he dropped us off in the Zolem Marshes because Cloud threw up on a window. We had to fight a Zolem with the kids on our backs. No one was hurt, but on a bad day, one of the kids could have been scratched by the Zolem or something...)

4:54 p.m.

"I'm thinking about growing a beard or a moustache..." Cloud said as he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. "I mean, most men do grow moustaches..."

"Cloud? Does this have anything to do with-?"

"Maybe just a little stubble..."

"-Don Corneo's?"

"Yeah, just a little stubble on my chin..."

"Cloud? I'm asking you a question-"

"Maybe a little more than stubble... Since I'm blond, I don't think stubble would show up..."

"Cloud?"

"Hmm..."

"CLOUD!"

"What?"

"You don't need a moustache, or a beard."

"Yeah, I know. Just stubble."

"..."

"What? You don't like facial hair?"

5:04 p.m.

On the airship. He has (another) new one, called "The Shera #2". I have to say, I feel like a little girl at the moment. It's been a long time since I've been to Gold Saucer. (If you don't count what happened a few months ago when Red XIII was mistaken for a runaway stuffed- robot actor...)

It's taking a lot of concentration to not squeal right now. Come on Tifa, you can do this. We're almost there. Don't squeal, don't bounce up and down, remain calm. Cloud's calm, so you should be too. Just breathe.

5:10 p.m.

I even talk to myself in journals...

5:23 p.m.

We made our way through Corel and we're on the blue cable-car to Gold Saucer. I found that it's not that hard to run and kick in heels. It feels more natural to me than walking in them, anyway...

5:49 p.m.

Hm, what to do first, Chocobo racing or some games in the Arcade?

I should rephrase that.

Hm, what to beat Cloud at first, Chocobo racing or some games in the Arcade?

6:15 p.m.

Beat Cloud at Snowboarding, as usual, and he beat me at the Motorcycle game, as usual. I beat him at more games though. I've had more experience.

While he was out trying to join SOLDIER, I was busy learning from Master Zangan, and beating the boys at all sorts of games. Especially "Face-Boarding", a game some kids at our town made up, involving a slick board, a rocky hill, and a kid unafraid to break their face. (To win, you had to make it to the bottom of the hill without landing on your face. Notice the absence of scars on my face? Exactly.)

We're about to head over to the Chocobo Racing. Aside from Chocobo Cloud, we don't have any to race with (at least not with us), so I guess we'll just have to watch... The next race starts soon, so we'll be late unless Cloud get's out of the bathroom as I finish this sentence.

6:20 p.m.

He's still in there...

6:23 p.m.

I'm going in to get him out. This is ridiculous. I told him he shouldn't have eaten all of those "Hoggy-Moggy" Chips. Very hard on the stomach. (He ate a whole bag... Ouch.)

6:56 p.m.

"Tifa! Get in!" Cloud said as he opened the stall door, grabbed me by the arm, pulled me in and shut the door.

"...you have five seconds to explain to me why you just did that."

"I saw Yuffie."

"Yuffie? But she doesn't know that we're-? Wait, you've been _hiding_ in here?"

"I don't want her to see us. What if she-?"

"So you want to hide in the men's room until you think she leaves?"

"..."

"She probably won't do anything irrational. It's not like her to-" He pointed to the bald spot on his head as proof that she really can be crazy.

"Okay, I see what you mean..." I said. "But, can't we find a better hiding place?"

So now we're riding the gondola. Over and over again. Buying ticket after ticket. Not planning on getting off until Cloud's certain that Yuffie is gone.

If that's not sad enough, we're sitting on the floor, careful to not be seen from the window. I feel like a little girl hiding from my Dad after I've stolen a chocolate bar.

And no woman wants to feel like that on a date.

In spite of that, though, I'm having fun.

7:32 p.m.

Can you guess where we are now?

If you guessed "on the gondola", you're right.

But it's interesting now. A few minutes ago, I peeked out the window, and I saw that Yuffie has some company. You can barely see him underneath the mound of stuffed animals he's carrying, but (reluctantly) following Yuffie is:

Vincent.

So she doesn't know that we're here. At the next stop, we're getting off to spy on them, just like she so often spies on us.

This night just gets better and better.

7:45 p.m.

I can see why Yuffie loves her "missions" so much. It's fun to be so "stealthy". (Well, if buying gigantic stuffed animals and ducking under them constantly counts as stealthy...) I can see that Vincent is trying to win in a dart game.

7:50 p.m.

He should stick to guns... Darts definitely aren't his thing. Yuffie just started to play. From here it looks flawless. Did I mention that we're hiding behind a park bench now?

8:12 p.m.

Now we're walking around with our giant stuffed animals. Whenever they look our way, we duck behind them, when they start walking again, we start walking again. I hope they don't go down any shoots... I don't know how we'll go down shoots with these things.

9:16 p.m.

This is starting to get boring. Yuffie is being only mildly insane. She's talking better, though...

9:23 p.m.

If she doesn't do anything crazy within the next five minutes, we're leaving to do something on our own...

9:33 p.m.

She kissed him. Yuffie kissed Vincent. On the lips. And he just... blinked. And stared at her. Then blinked a little more. Then he looked away, blinked, looked at her again, blinked, and started to walk away.

Then she promptly tackled him and started pummeling him like a small, wild animal. (The tackling part probably didn't hurt much though... All of those stuffed animals... )

She _kissed _him. That girl is bold. The boldest girl I have ever seen. She's still smacking him repeatedly... I think we should go. If Yuffie figures out that we're watching her now, she'll pummel us more than she'll pummel Vincent.

10:11 p.m.

"Yuffie... Vincent..." Cloud said, still in a bit of a daze.

"..."

"..."

"So um... What do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter to me..." Cloud said.

"Doesn't matter...?"

"Yeah. It doesn't matter to me what we do, as long as you do it with me."

Awwww.

12:04 a.m.

On Cid's airship going home. I decided to stop writing so often in this...

After we went our own ways, we decided to play some games. I won Cloud a little yellow Chocobo, and he won me a white cat stuffed animal. I named the cat Mini Tifa, and he named the Chocobo Mini Cloud, so we traded toys so we can have each other around all of the time. (Cloud's idea... Awwwww...)

Next we went to the rollercoaster to try to beat our high score... The last time we played, Barret was there, so one less gun reduced our score tremendously. But at least I didn't get sick like last time. (I threw up on Barret's head right before we got off... Oops.)

Then, right before we left, we rode the gondola one last time. (It doesn't get old...)

That was the only time tonight that we talked about our past... We talked about the only summer that we spent any time together during, when most of my friends were away, when we were about seven years old. About once a week we would leave Nibelheim in search of a good place to swim. We didn't talk to each other much while we were searching. Cloud was so quiet... Eventually, towards the end of summer, we decided to try and build a pool. That was when Cloud started to talk a lot. Once he started, he didn't stop. We never did finish the pool... At the end of summer, when my friends came back, Cloud didn't come over anymore...

Then we made a mad dash to Gold Saucer's exit, carrying our giant stuffed animals over our heads (for Denzel and Marlene), and our "mini's" in two of Cloud's many pockets. (When we saw the time, all of the sugar from the junk food we ate kicked in, and we became scarily hyper. Cloud's sort of scary when he gets too much sugar. He gets really happy and sweet for about ten minutes, and then he stares into space and stops talking...)

So, we should be home soon. Tonight was fun. I really needed it...

1:22 a.m.

"Hey, Tifa!" Cloud called quietly from his room.

"What?"

"You're in bed with me." He said, talking about our "mini-me" dolls.

"That's nice, Cloud. Good night."

**_A/N_**

**_Yay! I finished! I hope you like this chapter. I'm so sorry it took so long! This is the longest chapter yet... Wow. Thank you so much for your patience, for reading, and reviewing! You're amazing! _**

**_-Lunatic.Ninja_**


	14. Tifa Day 7

Day 7

January 16th

6:07 a.m.

So… here we are. The last entry for my part of the journal. Hopefully today will be especially interesting, to finish this with a bang. Of course eventually Cloud will get it and you'll get to read about our hectic life again… but… still. I could use a bang.

6:08 a.m.

That didn't come out right… Ignore that last bit.

6:30 a.m.

Hiding in Cloud's room, leaning against his door to keep it shut.

Cloud was sleeping in his bed on top of the covers (Well, the covers were on the floor… he was sleeping all sprawled out) with "Mini-Tifa" on his face. I ducked down next to him. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping… So not-out-to-get-revenge on anybody…

"Cloud, wake up, it's 'Kid's Choice' day today… you know if we get up later than them they—" I said to him quietly, to not startle him.

Cloud opened his eyes wide.

"Did you say that it was Kid's Choice?" he pronounced quickly as he turned to face me.

"Yep. And you know if—"

Before I realized what was happening, Cloud grabbed me and flipped me over to the other side of his bed, where we both fell onto the floor on top of his blankets.

I stared at him, expecting some kind of explanation.

"Cloud, why did you just do that?" I asked.

Cloud stared back, nervously.

"Uh… you startled me…" he replied, looking a bit out of it.

"So you threw me over your bed and onto the floor?"

Cloud nodded.

We heard Marlene's voice echo down the hallway.

"Cloud, have you seen Tifa?" she said as she approached the door.

"Get down!" Cloud said as he ducked down, lower to the floor. For some reason, I ducked too. We heard her walk into the room, stop a moment, and leave.

"Why are you hiding from an eight year old girl?" I asked him. Then, I noticed it. My little white cat sticking out the front of his pants. Right there in his waistband. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just pointed at it weakly. He looked down at it, then back up at me.

"Um… you… you look really nice today, Tifa."

I tried to think of some kind of comeback, like "Flattery will get you no where," but I was so surprised I couldn't think for a moment. Before I could realize that I didn't even brush my hair that day and I was still in my pajamas, he got up and climbed over the bed. I assumed that he would go apologize to Marlene, but he just locked the door.

"Give me ten minutes to prepare myself."

So here we are, just sitting here while Cloud stares into space, "preparing himself".

What a fun start to the day.

7:39 a.m.

Hm. Cloud is actually pretty happy about the choice.

The kids chose snowboarding at Gongaga Mountains. (They added a few nice, safe courses there… You know, so people don't die trying to go down them…) Denzel wants Cloud to teach him, and Marlene wants me to teach her. At the end of the day, they're going to challenge each other in a race…

This should actually be fun. I haven't been real snowboarding since we had no choice but to a few years ago… Well, at least that's what Cloud thinks. I've actually gone a couple of times since then on my days off when Cloud and the kids were gone... I would say that that's an unfair advantage, but Cloud has an advantage against me in the motorcycle game, considering he actually drives one... So this is totally fair.

8:10 a.m.

Cid is picking us up and taking us in a few minutes. We would drive there, but unfortunately our car exploded, and we would walk, but that would take too long, especially with the kids… So Cid volunteered, being the nice guy that he is…

And also so he has an excuse to tell Yuffie that he's busy for the day. Apparently she kept him up last night rambling and rambling about something, but he couldn't understand her because of her tongue being numb. Poor girl… I bet it was about Vincent… I wonder why she hasn't called yet...?

8:15 a.m.

Realized I didn't have my cell phone on me, so I asked Cloud where it was.

"Uh… Home, I guess." Was his response.

Then I heard my ringtone go off.

He froze, slowly reached into his pocket, opened it to answer it, and closed it, hanging up.

It was Yuffie.

He is so getting beat.

9:40 a.m.

All suited up inside the Inn, about to go for our practice runs with the kids.

"We're so gonna beat you, Cloud!" Marlene said in a strong, determined voice.

"Yeah," I chimed in playfully. "You're so going down, Cloud."

Cloud flipped his hair and posed, Denzel doing the same. I couldn't help but smile at it.

"I'd like to see you try," Cloud said in his "sexy" voice. (No joke. He calls it his sexy voice. He says it's what he uses when he messes up a delivery and the customer happens to be female. He also says it's what he uses to get out of trouble with me. Haha.)

"See you at the finish line," Denzel added.

This will be fun.

11:20 a.m.

Marlene is doing pretty well so far… She learned how to stand up on the board and ride a few feet without falling. She's doing better than I thought she would… She's usually not into things like this.

I wonder how Denzel is doing…?

11:58 a.m.

Denzel flew past us as I was trying to teach Marlene how to turn, followed by Cloud riding right behind him. I got a text message from Cloud.

It read:

_Tifa—_

_Whoops, sorry. Hope we didn't startle you. Didn't see you there as we were kicking your butt._

_-Cloud_

Oh, it's on now. It's on.

2:30 p.m.

Marlene can now ride a good distance and turn with ease… pretty much. Now I'm teaching her how to ride with more speed. I've found I'm a bit rusty myself… The video game isn't as much like it as I remembered…

3:13 p.m.

Got a text from Cloud arranging the time.

_Tifa—_

_4 o' clock is when you'll lose._

_I'll see you at the finish line, much after we have finished._

_--Cloud_

He probably shouldn't try to sound cool. It usually backfires on him.

3:15 p.m.

Sent a text back to him.

_Cloud—_

_Don't try to sound cool. It backfires._

_--Tifa_

3:17 p.m.

_Tifa—_

_I don't have to try. It comes naturally._

_--Cloud_

3:18 p.m.

_Cloud—_

_Ha._

_--Tifa_

3:20 p.m.

_Tifa—_

_You know you want me._

_--Cloud_

I'll pretend I didn't get that last one.

3:25 p.m.

_Tifa—_

_Hahahahaha._

_--Cloud_

Should I turn my phone off?

3:35 p.m.

_Tifa—_

_You want me so bad you can't even respond._

_Hahahahaha._

_--Cloud_

I just turned my phone off. This is getting old.

3:56 p.m.

Alright, here we go. We're about to start. The kids are going to go down before us, and we'll be right beside them the whole time. We're riding the ski-lift up the mountain as I'm writing this. I just hope that no one get's hurt…

4:15 p.m.

The ski lift stopped pulling us up and we're stuck here. They said it wouldn't be more than a few minutes.

4:25 p.m.

Still here. I looked back at Cloud and Denzel sitting in their chairs. They stuck their tongues out at us, and we did the same.

We're so mature it astonishes me.

4:35 p.m.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no…

Got bored and decided to turn my phone on.

I have 26 missed calls from Yuffie, 10 from Vincent, 8 from Reeve, 2 from Barret and 40 texts from all of them and many, many voicemails.

The first few are relatively calm ones from Yuffie.

"Hey Tifuh, Ooffie heah…Thust wanted to talk to you avout a STOOPID FIPPIN' TARD!!! Call me back!" (Hi Tifa, it's Yuffie. Just wanted to talk you about a STUPID FLIPPIN' TARD!") I assumed she meant Vincent.

The other messages from her go on and on like that.

The first one from Vincent was:

"Tifa. Listen to me. I think Yuffie is planning something destructive. She is upset by something that happened and is being irrational. Take caution."

And the next from him was:

"Tifa. I have just spoken to Reeve. Yuffie is definitely planning something. Take serious caution."

Then, from Barret:

"Yo, Tifa! Yuffie lost her mind! Watch yourself! Tell Spikey!"

Then, from Reeve:

"Tifa, Yuffie is unleashing her frustration on whoever she can. Please, talk to her and calm her down. If anything more upsets her, I'm afraid that she'll— oh, no, she got to Vincent. Ah… Thankfully he can defend himself. Oh—wh—c---what--? F--- T--- s"

I took a deep breath and turned around to tell Cloud, who, to my horror, picked up his phone, held it up to his ear a moment, smirked and closed it.

I just knew it was Yuffie.

4:50 p.m.

Got a call from Cid.

"Tifa, Cloud! Yuffie took over my f---ing airship! She's heading your way! Get the heck out of there!" He yelled into the phone. I could hear her yelling like mad in the background.

Oh boy. Here we go. This is going to get rough.

7:13 p.m.

This is ridiculous.

We were sitting in the ski lifts, when suddenly, the whole place came under a huge shadow. We looked up and, sure enough, Cid's airship hovered above. I turned around to Cloud, who looked a bit confused.

"Cloud!" I yelled. "Yuffie's up there! She's coming to get you!"

"What?" He shouted back. It was hard to hear over the sound of the airship.

"Yuffie!" I yelled again, pointing up at the airship. He looked up again, and then down at me, eyes wide, looking a bit confused still. I told Marlene to stay in her seat and hang on tight as I slipped out and stood up on it. (Don't try this at home, kiddies.) I jumped over to Cloud's seat, hanging onto the cable above. "Yuffie is here to get you! We need to get you out of here, now, before she hurts somebody!" I explained. This time, he got it.

"Go get Marlene. We'll board down the hill. It's the fastest way." He said firmly (sounding like a leader.)

"Got it."

I climbed the cable back to my seat, picked up Marlene and told her to hang onto my back as tightly as she could, and Cloud did the same with Denzel.

We jumped out of our chairs and boarded down the mountain, side by side, zigzagging to avoid obstacles Yuffie was dropping from the ship. During this, we could hear Yuffie's voice over the speaker system on the ship:

"I'll gegchoo Cloug Sthrithe!" ("I'll get you, Cloud Strife!")

She dropped several nets aimed for Cloud, but he successfully dodged them all.

After a while we turned off course to get out of Yuffie's sights, but of course we got a bit lost; the area wasn't familiar.

We were riding normally, not going too fast, riding pretty calmly. I could feel Marlene relax her grip on me a little. Poor thing… she must have been scared…

Suddenly, we started to speed up. Naturally, both of us tilted our boards back to slow down, but it was useless. The hill was too steep. Down at the bottom of the hill we could see the beginning of a snow storm. I got a flashback of our first trip down the mountains. This path led to the same end: A drop off and a snow storm.

Just the two of us would be hard enough, but with the kids it would be even harder.

To stop I turned my board completely around until I was laid on the mountain, using my hands to try and stop, and Cloud did the same. We slowed down a little, but it wasn't enough. We both flew off the edge.

I held onto Marlene as we fell. I couldn't see Denzel or Cloud in the snow, but I knew that we would land close...

The landing was soft, thankfully, but we couldn't see anything in the storm. Just white. Lots and lots of white.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Cloud.

"I don't know. Look for somebody I guess."

So, carrying Marlene (She was very quiet, but Denzel actually seemed pretty thrilled from all of this) we started walking. There weren't so many monsters as before, probably from all of the recent construction.

After a while of walking, we spotted something in the snow. It looked like a truck. It was light grey; we could barely see it.

As we got closer to it, we could see in plain, bold red letters: W.R.O.

We ran up to it, expecting someone to be inside, but no one was there. It was unlocked, and since the kids were freezing, we climbed in and sat in the back, waiting for whoever was driving it to return.

If they didn't get killed by the monsters, that is…

8:10 p.m.

And now it's dark out. No sign of the W.R.O. who own this car. Great. We'll probably have to put together some kind of rescue mission soon. If we don't need one ourselves.

8:25 p.m.

Well, it could be worse," Cloud said suddenly.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You could be in your old outfit."

I shivered at the thought. I was so ridiculously cold it was just… I don't even know. Yuffie needs to make up a word for that.

8:30 p.m.

"Of course that would be better for me." He said later.

I would hit him if the kids weren't here.

8:57 p.m.

Someone's coming…

9:10 p.m.

"Daddy!" Marlene cried happily as she leapt into Barret's arms. Barret heard from Yuffie (who was actually worried about us now after she calmed down a bit) that we turned off course suddenly and didn't turn back up again. He then took one of the W.R.O's trucks and drove down here, when his truck broke down so he went to find us on foot.

He completely broke down when he found Marlene, hugging her and hugging her while Cloud lay unconscious on the floor. (Once he heard what happened he smacked Cloud so hard he passed out. He shouldn't be unconscious for long, though. I don't see any serious signs of damage.)

The W.R.O. are looking for us as I'm writing this. It shouldn't be long now… hopefully…

10:13 p.m.

They picked us up and we're on our way home. Denzel is asleep on Cloud's shoulder (who is conscious now, by the way) and Marlene is sleeping on Barret (who is also sleeping. Poor guy… all tired out. He also looks so peaceful when he's sleeping… So… not out to knock Cloud out cold…)

I can't wait to get home.

10:40 p.m.

"This is why I needed some time before we left." Cloud said as he leaned back into his seat, eyes closed. "Something dramatic always happens…" he sounded tired.

"Well, that's true with us, I guess..." I said as I took off my jacket.

"At least it's never bor--" he began to say, when suddenly his eyes widened in astonishment as he pointed weakly at me.

I looked down.

A little yellow stuffed Chocobo stuck out of the band of my pants. I had stuffed "Mini Cloud" into them trying to put it somewhere safe before we made our way down the hill.

I knew what was coming.

Cloud smiled, looking so totally pleased with himself.

"Hey, Tifa," he said.

I sighed.

"Yes, Cloud?"

"I'm in your pants."

"That's nice Cloud."

Well, I guess that's the end of my entries for now. It's been fun. Lots of craziness… Actually, this helped me realize how not-boring my life is… Thank you, Yuffie, for sharing this with us. Hopefully when we see each other again you won't be trying to capture someone in my family.

Until next time.

Sincerely, Tifa Lockhart.


End file.
